☀Ignite Your Creativity☀ discussion

Sometimes, you know when your friend is in trouble. And you always want to help them out. If you're worried about a friend, or if you know anyone who is in trouble, drop a comment here explaining what's going on and people can try to help you help them.

Or maybe you just don't understand their actions.

My friend doesn't eat her lunch...

I've known one of my friends since we were about three. She was always small, yet a bit chubby, and when we were younger she really liked food. She was great to be around, and while she could be a bit dramatic and sometimes big-headed, I loved her.
Now she's fourteen, and everything's changed. I know her brothers used to make fun of her and some people at school because of her weight, but I never thought her appearance was a negative. Then there was the summer we were twelve, and that was the last summer she was ever normal. I saw her once or twice that summer because I was travelling a lot, but when I got back to school me and my friends noticed she had lost some weight.
It looked good on her, and different, and we were surprised. It stayed like that for a while, healthy and normal-looking. Then when the new year rolled around everything just went weird. I noticed she hardly ate any of her lunch and she ate really slowly. She wasnt as fun to be around anymore, and got a bit spiteful and sarcastic. When it got to the summer(last year - we were thirteen), things were even worse.
Aher face became extremely pale and sunken - she looked almost ill. Her weight had been nice before but now it was unhealthy. I don't know how it all happened so quickly.
Then at the end of the summer the new school year rolled around, the one im finishing now, and I started to hang out with new people. She would tag along, and still does, without saying anything, and when you try to include her she doesnt help by smiling or saying anything else except one word answers. And anything longer than that was always sarcastic.
She also started to try to beat me in all the subjects that Im good at. It's like she's trying to be better than me in the things I do best, so she will always win. I mean, it's pathetic. All she talks about it school work and it bores me. And at lunch, she will only eat, say, two pieces of pasta and drink half her drink, and she never EVER speaks.
What's the point of her hanging around me if she doesnt speak? There was a time when I managed to avoid her, mean as it sounds, and that was not as miserable. But I keep worrying about her. My dad, (who is a doctor) and my mum (who is a nurse) and my brother and grandma ALL think there must be some form of anorexia going on.
Trouble is, what do I do to help?

Yeah, I understand all that. But she doesn't get bullied - at least not at school, because she's usually around me the whole time. Thanks :)

Well she comes from a good family. They're respectable people and her dad's a doctor who works with my dad. I think they're quite strict though, religious-wise and academic-wise. They're always pushing her to do better and there are a lot of things she's not allowed to do and places she can't go. I feel sorry for her because of that, but her home isn't like, abusive or violent.

She is probably thinking she's overweight. You should try and talk to her about her being anorexic. You should say something about that and try to get her to stop. Of she doesn't, talk to her parents and then they should talk to a doctor. She may hate you for doin it, but it could save her life if she continues.

I;ve tried to say to her, "You're not eating much today," in a casual way, and the reply isn't friendly. If I said anything about anorexia God knows what she'd do.
Also, I can't talk to her parents. They're the type that don't listen to stuff like that and hate people poking in their business. My mum said to her mum, "She's lost weight. Just make sure she doesn't over-do it." But she just ignored her.

Oh...

Its okay, thanks so much for trying to help :)

♪ $คгคђ ♪ ™ wrote: "My friend doesn't eat her lunch...

I've known one of my friends since we were about three. She was always small, yet a bit chubby, and when we were younger she really liked food. She was great to ..."

I'm going to say a few things that are probably medically/technically incorrect, but I'm going to do the best I can to make you understand what I want to say here.

There are probably many different types of depression, but for now let's narrow it down to two types, two 'causes'.

1. This is the kind of depression someone can fall into when something traumatic happens.

2. This is the kind of depression someone can fall into without warning, without cause.

Now, the way you feel has to do with the chemicals in your brain. There's a certain chemical that makes you feel happy, a certain one that makes you feel down, one that makes you feel angry, etc. So, something is off with the way her brain is producing chemicals. (This is what I would assume anyways.) That would either be because something traumatic happened to her, or she's just falling into the type of depression that doesn't have a real external cause.

There might be something going on at home that you don't know about. Just because people seem nice and friendly when you're present, doesn't mean they are that way when you're gone. For all we know, her parents could be abusive. There might have been something that happened outside of home that she hasn't told anyone about. Whatever the case is, she needs to see a doctor. You need to either talk to her parents, or talk to her. I know it's hard, and I know you might feel like you'll be betraying her. Trust me though, if you do not get some help for her, or talk to her, it will get worse. You do not want to see the worst. (I've been there with my best friend, it was at your age too.) It's much harder than getting help. If she doesn't get better with her eating, well. You just don't want to go there.

Okay. It's just... It's so hard to approach her even saying, "Why aren't you eating your lunch?" or "You never finish you food." All my other friends don't say anything To her - they're either scared or some just don't like her, because of the way she is now - they only talk ABOUT her, so I'm on my own. I'm not scared of her, it's just our friendship is hanging on a thread even now.

I completely understand. It's a very difficult situation. Maybe you can ease into the transition of trying to help her by telling her that you'll always be there for her, how much your value her as a friend, and that if there's anything she wants to talk about you'll listen. She might seem or act offended, but hopefully it will show her how much you care about her.

Offer her some chocolate. No one can resist the alluring sweetness of choclate. Unless they are allergic to it O.o

@ Cheyenne. Thanks for the advice - yes, I could try that out.

@ Emmel : Haha :) I wouldn't be able to resist chocolate but she never eats it. On my brithday she turned down chocolate cake :(

Turned down chocolate cake?!!

Haha YES! That's how bad it is! Oh God I need chocolate cake now... O.O

Me...too...