Bahram Afshar

“When did you get so smart?"
He tapped his forehead. "Brain transplant. They put in a whale's. I'm passing all my classes with my eyes closed now, but I just can't get over this craving for krill." He shrugged. "And I feel sorry for the whale that got my brain. Probably swimming around Florida now trying to catch glimpses of girls in bikinis.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.”
― Bertrand Russell, New Hopes for a Changing World

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
― Mark Twain