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“It was five o’clock when the stupid rooster started crowing relentlessly, robbing me of my sleep. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. Dumbass bird should be on Prozac.”
― Rules of Protection
― Rules of Protection
“Him: Confession: I deleted all the 1 Direction from your iPod when u were in the can.
You’re welcome.
Me: WHAT?? I’m going to kiss u!
Him: With tongue?
It takes me a second to realize what happened, at which point I’m completely mortified.
Me: Kill u! I meant KILL. u. Damn autocorrect.
Him: Surrrrrre. Let’s blame it on autocorrect.
Me: Shut it.
Him: I think someone wants to kiss me…”
― The Deal
You’re welcome.
Me: WHAT?? I’m going to kiss u!
Him: With tongue?
It takes me a second to realize what happened, at which point I’m completely mortified.
Me: Kill u! I meant KILL. u. Damn autocorrect.
Him: Surrrrrre. Let’s blame it on autocorrect.
Me: Shut it.
Him: I think someone wants to kiss me…”
― The Deal
“Just out of curiosity,” she says, “after you wake up in the morning, do you admire yourself in the mirror for one hour or two?”
“Two,” I reply cheerfully.
“Do you high five yourself?”
“Of course not.” I smirk. “I kiss each of my biceps and then point to the ceiling and thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen.”
― The Deal
“Two,” I reply cheerfully.
“Do you high five yourself?”
“Of course not.” I smirk. “I kiss each of my biceps and then point to the ceiling and thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen.”
― The Deal
“Well, Cowboy, if my pussy is ever in need of being rescued, then I’ll be sure to give you a call. Until then, you’ll just have to play with your own hose.”
― Rules of Protection
― Rules of Protection
“What's poking me?"
"An involuntary reflex," Jake said, "Roll over at your own risk."
"Is it going to be a chronic condition?"
"God, I hope so, I'm too young to have those kinds of medical issues."
"I have a cure."
"What?" he asked. "Sandwiching a pillow between us?"
"Amputation."
"Never mind," Jake said grimly, "Problem solved.”
― Rules of Protection
"An involuntary reflex," Jake said, "Roll over at your own risk."
"Is it going to be a chronic condition?"
"God, I hope so, I'm too young to have those kinds of medical issues."
"I have a cure."
"What?" he asked. "Sandwiching a pillow between us?"
"Amputation."
"Never mind," Jake said grimly, "Problem solved.”
― Rules of Protection
Itza’s 2024 Year in Books
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