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Essence Alexander

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“Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.”
― Chelsea Handler

tags: drinking, humor

249 likes

“I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.”
― Chelsea Handler

152 likes