Maria Vargas’s Reviews > For Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and Tender Hearts: A Love Letter to Women of Color > Status Update

We are socialized to seek admiration and approval to a fault. When does the social performance end? How many of us will follow the prescribed roles—marriage, motherhood—just to be respected, heard, or legible as adults?

We call mujeres locas, lloronas, putas, and a slew of other terms that are specifically meant to shame women for not following the rules and for speaking up for themselves.

Women tend to do a lot of work to justify the actions of the men in our lives, while our men do little to nothing to acknowledge our pain, much less try to alleviate it.

Even when speaking English, regional accents or accents that come from speaking multiple languages get toned down for the comfort of white ears—a lot of BIPOC call this their “white voice.”

Some days, you will forget that you are smart and worthy, because you might stutter when you have to speak English in front of a room of native English speakers.

To assimilate requires erasing your ethnicity; you have to perform in a way that puts white people at ease, to the point where you earn honorary whiteness: “You’re not like the others.”

When women began to be recognized for their professional successes, impostor syndrome led them to believe what they had been socialized to believe—that any accomplishments resulted from luck, teamwork, and outside help.

When you are made to feel like you are not beautiful, and society teaches you that the worth of girls and women lies in their beauty, then you start to feel unlovable.

Because I have my papi’s Brownness but mi mami’s gender, a curse—I was born female and Brown, in a cultura that hates females and especially hates the darker ones.

We did not create anti-Indigenous sentiment; we were taught it, we were forced to accept it, and then we internalized and perpetuated it on our own. That is the insidious nature of colonization. Many people have survived by assimilating toward the dominant group’s values, and this internalized racism continues to traumatize entire nations.