Bobby Ingram’s Reviews > The Fifth Elephant > Status Update
Bobby Ingram
is 71% done
Daily Vimes:
Inigo looked down. He swallowed. Vimes had a knife, too. ‘You really are no gentleman, then,’ he said.
‘Make a sudden move and neither are you,’ said Vimes. ‘And now it appears that we have reached what Sergeant Colon persists in referring to as an imp arse.’
‘I assure you I will not kill you,’ said Inigo.
‘I know that,’ said Vimes. ‘But will you try?’
— May 23, 2026 04:45AM
Inigo looked down. He swallowed. Vimes had a knife, too. ‘You really are no gentleman, then,’ he said.
‘Make a sudden move and neither are you,’ said Vimes. ‘And now it appears that we have reached what Sergeant Colon persists in referring to as an imp arse.’
‘I assure you I will not kill you,’ said Inigo.
‘I know that,’ said Vimes. ‘But will you try?’
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Bobby’s Previous Updates
Bobby Ingram
is 89% done
Another banger, this book
Daily Death AND Vimes!!!:
GOOD MORNING.
Vimes blinked. A tall dark robed figure was now sitting in the boat.
‘Are you Death?’
IT’S THE SCYTHE, ISN’T IT? PEOPLE ALWAYS NOTICE THE SCYTHE.
‘I’m going to die?’
POSSIBLY.
‘Possibly? You turn up when people are possibly going to die?’
OH, YES. IT’S QUITE THE NEW THING. IT’S BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE.
‘What’s that?’
I’M NOT SURE.
— 13 hours, 30 min ago
Daily Death AND Vimes!!!:
GOOD MORNING.
Vimes blinked. A tall dark robed figure was now sitting in the boat.
‘Are you Death?’
IT’S THE SCYTHE, ISN’T IT? PEOPLE ALWAYS NOTICE THE SCYTHE.
‘I’m going to die?’
POSSIBLY.
‘Possibly? You turn up when people are possibly going to die?’
OH, YES. IT’S QUITE THE NEW THING. IT’S BECAUSE OF THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE.
‘What’s that?’
I’M NOT SURE.
Bobby Ingram
is 30% done
Daily Gaspode:
‘So? When she’s human-shaped she’s just like a human. And what’s that got to do with anything? Humans don’t like werewolves. Wolves don’t like werewolves. People don’t like wolves that can think like people, an’ people don’t like people who can act like wolves. Which just shows you that people are the same everywhere,’ said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, ‘Even when they’re wolves.’
— May 20, 2026 05:19AM
‘So? When she’s human-shaped she’s just like a human. And what’s that got to do with anything? Humans don’t like werewolves. Wolves don’t like werewolves. People don’t like wolves that can think like people, an’ people don’t like people who can act like wolves. Which just shows you that people are the same everywhere,’ said Gaspode. He assessed this sentence and added, ‘Even when they’re wolves.’
Bobby Ingram
is 15% done
Looking like more vampires? I'm down.
Daily Detritus:
'There’s still wars with trolls up near the Hub, I hear. Tact and diplomacy will be called for.’
‘You have come to der right troll for dat, sir,’ said Detritus.
‘You did push that man through that wall last week, Detritus.’
‘It was done with tact, sir. Quite a fin wall.’
— May 18, 2026 07:58PM
Daily Detritus:
'There’s still wars with trolls up near the Hub, I hear. Tact and diplomacy will be called for.’
‘You have come to der right troll for dat, sir,’ said Detritus.
‘You did push that man through that wall last week, Detritus.’
‘It was done with tact, sir. Quite a fin wall.’
