Furciferous Quaintrelle Bex’s Reviews > The Scorched Skin Killer > Status Update

“And you’re mine. I reckon that’s going to be a bone of contention when we next get other halves, by the way.” “Was that a pun?” “Eh?” “Bone of contention. We’ve just seen a load of them"

NO!

No IT WASN'T a pun, you absolute mong!

If there was an EMMY award for the worst understanding of humour, Ellis would win it for her tragic attempt at comedy.

And yes THAT was a pun. A shit pun, but an actual example of one.

“I’m not some muscle wo/man who can lug everything by myself,” you joke, tacking a laugh on the end for kicks. They don’t find it funny, but fuck ’em. You know a good quip when you hear one"

No. No you don't. You keep including dumb bits like this in these books & make out like the person saying it is hilarious. They aren't. I really think u don't understand how to be funny, making ur characters sound brain damaged.

"“My son & his wife are away at the moment. Wales.”

I'm probably just being a nit-picking pedant at th point, but pinpointing the location of these books has been bugging me a bit. When I hear "Shadwell" I think of the place in/near Tower Hamlets, London. But this book talks of the serious crimes division being "down in Cornwall" & the slang/parlance of everyone sounds northern. Now we hear it's close to Wales? Que?

"Once the meal has been consumed, offer them a drink, which you will add an ingredient to. You should have ground them up previously...or open up the tablet casing and tip the powder out. Use 4, just to be sure your victim drops off nicely"

Do crime fic writers not know about the hideous way most hypnotic/sedatives taste? You couldn't spike my drink with them without my noticing. Not that Ellis cares about realism.

I fully expect this one to be as crap as every other instalment in this awful series, but someone who isn't a total moron needs to read and leave a review for each of them that isn't an inexplicable four star (or higher) rating. Y'all need your heads examining.

Once more into the breech!