The Power of Saying No Quotes

“The Western novel writer Louis L’Amour observed that, “The thing to remember when traveling is that the trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast and you miss all that you are traveling for.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words…the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“However, as Shane Parrish, founder of Farnam Street Media, pointed out, “You don’t control the mountain, only the climb.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Women need to exercise their “agentic muscles” to assert themselves with less hesitation and get more comfortable advocating for themselves with empowerment, banishing feelings of fear and guilt.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“As Eagly and her colleagues write, “On a less positive note, most leadership roles require more agency than communion. Therefore, the lesser agency ascribed to women than men is a disadvantage in relation to leadership positions.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Men are consistently perceived as more confident, ambitious, and self-promoting than women. Even though both genders are equally competent, women today are not much more agentic than they were in the 1940s.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Some research suggests that testosterone can simultaneously enhance agency and weaken communality, which might help to explain the difference in relative importance placed by men vs. women on agency vs. communion.41”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“The research finds that speaking to ourselves other than in the first-person distances us psychologically and gives us more perspective—very much as if it is someone else were speaking to us.13 This calms us down and allows us to better handle anxiety-provoking social situations.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“The bottom line: Using instructional self-talk to say, “Not now, later” is more effective in warding off temptation than saying, “Not ever.”11”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“She needed to recognize that fast food drive-throughs were a pain point and that she needed to tell herself, “I don’t pick up dinner from drive-throughs after work.” To support this self-talk, Kristin also had to set herself up for success. For instance, she could spend thirty minutes on the weekend doing some meal planning, she could invest in learning some easy and tasty weeknight recipes, she could enlist her husband and children in preparing the meal, and when she had some time in the morning, she could consider getting some dinner prep done: defrost some chicken or fish before work or chop vegetables for a stir-fry.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“O powerful Goodness! bountiful Father! merciful Guide! Increase in me that wisdom which discovers my truest interest. Strengthen my resolution to perform what that wisdom dictates. Accept my kind offices to Thy other children as the only return in my power for Thy continual favors to me.”1 This is the morning mantra that set the tone for Benjamin Franklin’s day for most of his adult life.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“THE TIME-RICH FUTURE TRAP Research shows that we tend to think we will have more time or energy or space in our calendar in the future than we have now.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“I shuddered when I read Friestad and Wright’s ominous conclusion: “Individuals who allow unnoticed or uncontrolled invasions of their internal psychological world, and consequently changes in their behaviors, do not survive and prosper.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Also use words that convey a strong and secure position, like absolutist words (always, never, certain, absolutely) and emotive words (deeply, delightful, confident, unique, grateful, fulfilled, genuine).”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“a lot of people (in my experience) take on many (unpleasant and inconvenient) tasks out of a sense of duty and responsibility.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Louis L’Amour observed that, “The thing to remember when traveling is that the trail is the thing, not the end of the trail. Travel too fast and you miss all that you are traveling for.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Author and podcaster Ryan Hawk often mentions that he does not set goals; he simply puts processes in place and sets up procedures to get things done and then goes about doing them.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Personal policies are an established set of simple rules that we make for ourselves, grounded in our unique identity, that guide our decisions and shape our actions.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Brian Tracy wrote, “There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important things.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Self-awareness helps us become trustees of our own life.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“As we now know, there is a difference between a resounding yes and a reluctant yes. When you are veering toward a reluctant yes is when empowered refusal is most useful.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Whether it is a request from a friend or colleague, a personal or professional ask, a request to engage in some activity, or an appeal for help from someone needing your talent, learning to craft your empowered refusal boils down to self-awareness”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Opportunity cost is the price you pay when you make choices that do not align with what you deem to be good work. Recognizing the opportunity costs and calculating the trade-offs we have to make can fuel your empowered refusal.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“For instance, I often quote Annie Dillard, who said, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life,” followed by a challenge: “If you show me what your calendar looks like, will I be able to discern your purpose?”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Stephen Covey once observed, “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“KNOWING YOUR “WHY” Purpose is defined as “a stable and generalized intention to accomplish something that is at the same time meaningful to the self and consequential for the world beyond the self.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“THE A.R.T. OF EMPOWERED REFUSAL: COMPETENCIES FOR CRAFTING YOUR EMPOWERED REFUSAL CHAPTER”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“These words include always, never, forever, and completely.”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“I Don’t” vs. “I Can’t” as Self-Talk”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

“Avoid powerless words like can’t, shouldn’t, or oughtn’t that signal deprivation, loss of control, and even helplessness”
― Vanessa Patrick, The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life