Ask the Author: David Talon
Answered Questions (8)
David Talon
Hey Blessing,
Since you're writing a scene in a specific location, I'd mention the guards in the beginning, but wouldn't mention them again unless they do something (like escort a prisoner away or other functions). They're like background scenery. Now, if the action shifts to a different location and there are also guards there, mention them once with the room description and press on.
Since you're writing a scene in a specific location, I'd mention the guards in the beginning, but wouldn't mention them again unless they do something (like escort a prisoner away or other functions). They're like background scenery. Now, if the action shifts to a different location and there are also guards there, mention them once with the room description and press on.
David Talon
Hey Blessing,
It sounds to me like you need to take a short break from the screenplay and perhaps work on writing something different. This happens to me a good bit. For example, when I've got severe writing fatigue and even though I know where the story's going, I can't seem to get it there, I summarize what I believe will happen and go one to work on something else.
Giving your mind something else to do gives your subconscious a chance to work on it in the background, so when you return, you may realize at once what seemed off. When J.R.R. Tolkien was writing 'Lord of the Rings', he mentioned getting the party into Moria and finding the Dwarf King's tomb, but then had no idea what happened next. So, he left it alone (a year, if memory serves) and when he picked it up again, knew exactly where it was going. You probably won't need that long a time but perhaps a short break?
Otherwise, have someone who is knowledgeable about writing, or likes to read, go over it and see what they think.
Good Luck!
It sounds to me like you need to take a short break from the screenplay and perhaps work on writing something different. This happens to me a good bit. For example, when I've got severe writing fatigue and even though I know where the story's going, I can't seem to get it there, I summarize what I believe will happen and go one to work on something else.
Giving your mind something else to do gives your subconscious a chance to work on it in the background, so when you return, you may realize at once what seemed off. When J.R.R. Tolkien was writing 'Lord of the Rings', he mentioned getting the party into Moria and finding the Dwarf King's tomb, but then had no idea what happened next. So, he left it alone (a year, if memory serves) and when he picked it up again, knew exactly where it was going. You probably won't need that long a time but perhaps a short break?
Otherwise, have someone who is knowledgeable about writing, or likes to read, go over it and see what they think.
Good Luck!
David Talon
Hi Blessing,
Okay, this could be an interesting scene if the audience hasn't been introduced to these lords yet. I'm assuming the letters are something important, so you could use the reaction of each lord as they read the letter to give an insight into their character.
For this example, let's assume the king wants his 3 lords to attend the ceremony in which he names his youngest son to be the next king instead of the oldest. Lord X has been grooming the oldest in X's evil ways, Lord Y has been sheltering the youngest and teaching him chivalry, and Lord Z has remained neutral.
In the throne room, the King is sitting on his throne as a man in leather stands before him.
KING: Master of Pigeons, I need these three letters delivered to the Great Lords.
MOP: By your command, my liege.
The MOP takes the three letters from the king and hurries out of the throne room.
Next scene: outside of a tower, with three pigeons, each with a letter attached, flying in different directions.
Next scene: a servant holding a golden tray with a letter on it enters a room where Lord X is sitting with his wife, Baroness Cruella.
Servant: My lord, a letter from the king just arrived.
Lord X beckons him to bring the letter and the servant hurries over, kneeling beside Lord X who take the letter and reads it. Rage overflows Lord X's face and he kicks the tray out of the servant's hands. The servant cringes as Lord X turns towards his wife.
Lord X: He's finally done what he's been threatening to do and replace Prince Lard-for-Brains with Prince Charming. This is an outrage!
Baroness Cruella calmly take the letter from Lord X's hand and reads it.
BC: Not if Prince Charming were to meet... a most unfortunate end.
New scene: Lord Y has the letter in his hand, smiling as Prince Charming enters the room.
Prince Charming: You wanted to see me?
Lord Y shows him the letter.
Lord Y: Your royal father has finally come to his senses
PC: This is wonderful news!
New scene: Lord Z has the letter in hand, looking out the window as a blue skinned woman slinks over to him.
SLINKY WOMAN: My lord, this is your opportunity to take the throne for yourself.
Lord Z regards her for a moment.
Lord Z: Perhaps you are right.
Since everything is visual and the audience will assume that each pigeon reached its assigned lord, you don't have to add extra scenes of each letter being delivered, unless it shows some quality of the lord (like Lord X kicking the tray away in anger).
Hope this helps!
David
Okay, this could be an interesting scene if the audience hasn't been introduced to these lords yet. I'm assuming the letters are something important, so you could use the reaction of each lord as they read the letter to give an insight into their character.
For this example, let's assume the king wants his 3 lords to attend the ceremony in which he names his youngest son to be the next king instead of the oldest. Lord X has been grooming the oldest in X's evil ways, Lord Y has been sheltering the youngest and teaching him chivalry, and Lord Z has remained neutral.
In the throne room, the King is sitting on his throne as a man in leather stands before him.
KING: Master of Pigeons, I need these three letters delivered to the Great Lords.
MOP: By your command, my liege.
The MOP takes the three letters from the king and hurries out of the throne room.
Next scene: outside of a tower, with three pigeons, each with a letter attached, flying in different directions.
Next scene: a servant holding a golden tray with a letter on it enters a room where Lord X is sitting with his wife, Baroness Cruella.
Servant: My lord, a letter from the king just arrived.
Lord X beckons him to bring the letter and the servant hurries over, kneeling beside Lord X who take the letter and reads it. Rage overflows Lord X's face and he kicks the tray out of the servant's hands. The servant cringes as Lord X turns towards his wife.
Lord X: He's finally done what he's been threatening to do and replace Prince Lard-for-Brains with Prince Charming. This is an outrage!
Baroness Cruella calmly take the letter from Lord X's hand and reads it.
BC: Not if Prince Charming were to meet... a most unfortunate end.
New scene: Lord Y has the letter in his hand, smiling as Prince Charming enters the room.
Prince Charming: You wanted to see me?
Lord Y shows him the letter.
Lord Y: Your royal father has finally come to his senses
PC: This is wonderful news!
New scene: Lord Z has the letter in hand, looking out the window as a blue skinned woman slinks over to him.
SLINKY WOMAN: My lord, this is your opportunity to take the throne for yourself.
Lord Z regards her for a moment.
Lord Z: Perhaps you are right.
Since everything is visual and the audience will assume that each pigeon reached its assigned lord, you don't have to add extra scenes of each letter being delivered, unless it shows some quality of the lord (like Lord X kicking the tray away in anger).
Hope this helps!
David
David Talon
If it tells the audience something they need to know about the character, then it would be important. For example:
JACK WATSON, sitting on the floor with his back against a stone wall as he softly plays a guitar, wears denim trousers and a shirt. He has a holstered pistol at one hip and a sheathed Bowie knife at the other. His boots are scuffed and worn. As the group approaches, he stops playing and looks up.
JACK: Reckon we've got company.
RAN-LI, sitting on the stone wall beside Jack, is a Maya woman wearing a white dress with mystical embroidery, her wrinkles so deep the bottoms never see the light of day. Her travel-worn feet are bare.
RAN-LI: Jack master at stating obvious. Jack is idiot.
So, we can pretty much figure out that Jack's a gunslinger or possibly a cowboy, while the mystical designs hint that Ran-Li is a shaman. If color's important to the story, put it in; otherwise, don't worry about it. After you describe a character, you don't have to describe them again, unless their clothing changes for a specific reason (for example, if Jack were going to a formal dinner party, he'd be dressed in a suit).
JACK WATSON, sitting on the floor with his back against a stone wall as he softly plays a guitar, wears denim trousers and a shirt. He has a holstered pistol at one hip and a sheathed Bowie knife at the other. His boots are scuffed and worn. As the group approaches, he stops playing and looks up.
JACK: Reckon we've got company.
RAN-LI, sitting on the stone wall beside Jack, is a Maya woman wearing a white dress with mystical embroidery, her wrinkles so deep the bottoms never see the light of day. Her travel-worn feet are bare.
RAN-LI: Jack master at stating obvious. Jack is idiot.
So, we can pretty much figure out that Jack's a gunslinger or possibly a cowboy, while the mystical designs hint that Ran-Li is a shaman. If color's important to the story, put it in; otherwise, don't worry about it. After you describe a character, you don't have to describe them again, unless their clothing changes for a specific reason (for example, if Jack were going to a formal dinner party, he'd be dressed in a suit).
David Talon
Josh, I am so sorry I missed answering your question. I just turned it into a novel, with a new title 'The Guardian of Xibalba', and it's discounted to free on a number of retail sites except Amazon Kindle, which is 99 cents. I rewrote it, so hopefully it's even better than before, and should have the next two books in the series out by this summer. Here's the link:
https://books2read.com/u/mqMEG1
Cheers!
https://books2read.com/u/mqMEG1
Cheers!
David Talon
I would love to help any way I can! Some years ago, I got into writing screenplays when a producer read one of my stories and asked me to rewrite it as a screenplay. He eventually took a pass, but I caught the bug and spent a couple years doing that (even attended a pitchfest once, then vowed I'd never do it again. Waaay too much stress!)
The paradox of screenplays is that all dialogue has to sound natural, but every word has to matter. Each page equals one minute of screen time, so when you're writing out (for example) an action scene, it's best to be detailed in what the characters are doing, rather than just a line or two of description.
Hmm, before I go any farther, I need to ask you a question: how badly do you want to see your screenplay made into a movie? Because I learned the hard way that the odds of that happening are seriously stacked against us. What I did, and had a lot of fun doing, was turning my short stories into podcasts instead. They're easy to produce (I hooked up with a recording studio for a while and produced a few myself), and people jumped at the chance to do a little voice acting.
Let me know which direction sounds better and we'll go from there. Cheers!
David
The paradox of screenplays is that all dialogue has to sound natural, but every word has to matter. Each page equals one minute of screen time, so when you're writing out (for example) an action scene, it's best to be detailed in what the characters are doing, rather than just a line or two of description.
Hmm, before I go any farther, I need to ask you a question: how badly do you want to see your screenplay made into a movie? Because I learned the hard way that the odds of that happening are seriously stacked against us. What I did, and had a lot of fun doing, was turning my short stories into podcasts instead. They're easy to produce (I hooked up with a recording studio for a while and produced a few myself), and people jumped at the chance to do a little voice acting.
Let me know which direction sounds better and we'll go from there. Cheers!
David
David Talon
My mother's suicide. Shirley MacDonald Slusser took her own life when I was about five or six, under circumstances my father refused to explain when I was old enough to ask. That she was spiraling into madness is certain; I found some of her letters written to my grandmother, and their content frightened me deeply. Yet the how and the why, the relationship she had with my father, all of that is a mystery. I forgave her a long time ago, and have no desire to dig up the past, but a fictional protagonist might.
David Talon
By always writing my first draft with a blue ink pen and a legal pad. It may not be more than stage directions and dialog, but for some reason the physical act of putting pen to paper frees up my creative process. Music also helps.
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