Ask the Author: Sam Alibrando
Answered Questions (3)
Sam Alibrando
This idea is a long time in the making. About 35 years ago I was introduced to the work of Karen Horney who suggested that we react to internal conflicts by either "moving-against" others (the Fight reaction), "moving-away" from others (the Flight reaction) or "moving-toward" others (the Freeze-Appease reaction). I took a fancy to this notion and began to use it in my therapy and lectures. Later in my doctorate program I came across the work of Wilfred Bion who said that we "link" or connect to others either through Love (moving-toward), Hate (moving-against) –or Power as I prefer to call it– and Knowing (moving-away). When I realized that these two psychoanalytic giants, independent of each other, came up with the same three (dimensions) the Interpersonal Triad / Triangle was born.
Sam Alibrando
I am working on a workbook for leaders based on the 3D book entitled Understanding and Developing the Three Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence in Leaders and Managers – OR something like that. Originally I was torn between writing a book on leadership or a general book on the 3 dimensions of emotional intelligence. In the 3Dimensions book I obviously chose the later. Now it my chance to take the model to developing EI leaders at work–where we spend a third of our life.
Sam Alibrando
I practice what I preach –something that I do not always do. I move into the Mindfulness dimensions. I do not try to force the writing (a Power dimension move) but instead I give myself a "break" and trust that by "moving-away" from the writing for a while, I will refresh or reboot my brain-mind. When this happens the creative juices and writing flow will often take place.
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