Ask the Author: Margaret Robinson Rutherford
“I'd love to hear from those of you who identify with perfectly hidden depression, either here or via email: askdrmargaret@drmargaretrutherford.com! ”
Margaret Robinson Rutherford
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Margaret Robinson Rutherford
The ideas in Perfectly Hidden Depression are based on actual people I either saw myself as patients or volunteers who came forward after having read about PHD. Their stories were of course distinct, but they all shared this need for no one to see their pain or know just how lonely and despairing they were. So they had created (and were still creating for many...) the perfect-looking life, while being assaulted by their own inner shame and self-criticism. And if they did seek therapy. they were told they were too anxious, working too hard, or needed rest. They didn't "fit" criteria.
It's time for the criteria to change -- to include another presentation of depression that doesn't fit current more classic criteria.
It's time for the criteria to change -- to include another presentation of depression that doesn't fit current more classic criteria.
Margaret Robinson Rutherford
For Perfectly Hidden Depression, I have been so passionate about how the trait of perfectionism is rising in our culture and its potential effect (which research is backing up) on increasing depression and suicide rates that that has served as immense inspiration. There are people who've already told me they needed to hear themselves explained in this way in order to validate that yes, indeed, something is wrong. That feeling in their gut that they've been trying to avoid is real. And it can be dangerous and destructive.
Margaret Robinson Rutherford
I had a writer as a patient at the time of my writing this book. She'd ask me from time to time how things were going and I'd give a short answer, thanking her for her interest. One day however, I told her that I was struggling because there was so much advice out there -- so many ideas that had already been offered -- what fresh could I have to say? Her answer was simple. "But no one has heard you say it. No one has read your words. And you'll never know just who you can reach." So... that's the advice I'll repeat. It was wonderful advice.
Margaret Robinson Rutherford
I never thought of myself as a writer. I'm a therapist first and foremost. But since writing so much the last few years, I'm drawn even more to the process of getting down in black and white your ideas, your concepts, your dreams, your fears, your anger -- whatever it is that is important to you. It's scary at times. But it's very validating.
Margaret Robinson Rutherford
I hit writer's block quite a lot with a book on perfectionism. That's a trait I struggle with myself so I had to face the reality that as soon as the book was finished, I'd think of something I hadn't said or learn something new I would've liked to include. Maybe even I disagreed with myself! The book would be imperfect -- and then of course, I had to smile. Of course it will be imperfect.
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