Ask the Author: Tara Mohr
Answered Questions (6)
Tara Mohr
My biggest piece of advice is this: don't assume that you are coming across as underprepared or inexperienced just because you aren't as prepared or expert on a topic as you think you should be.! A lot of women have an unfounded fear of coming across this way, and we have room to be far more unprepared than we realize. An example: a friend of mine - a good student all her years in school - would feel flustered and panicked every time she'd be asked for numbers or projections that she wasn't sure about or couldn't give in detail. She'd say she wasn't sure, or she didn't have the number. Then she saw how in fact the culture in her field was for loose projections and very general figures to be thrown out in meetings, and there was an understanding the numbers weren't exact and that the projections were just that - projections. She started to more confidently present even when there was uncertainty around the numbers. So test this out. If you are getting repeated feedback that you are coming across as underprepared or inexperienced, that's the time to change your approach, and start to include more substance or detail. But don't do it based on a fear or assumption.
Tara Mohr
We know that women can do some things to reduce how much this affects their compensation: they can seek compensation data so they know what's happening, and they can ask for more - though they often have to do so in a very communal way (asking in a way that emphasizes the benefits for their organization or team) in order to not be penalized for asking.
At the macro level, there's the issue that the work that women tend to do is less valued than the work that men do - look at how we economically value caregiving and educating. That's a trickier issue to address, in some sense, - but also really important one.
At the macro level, there's the issue that the work that women tend to do is less valued than the work that men do - look at how we economically value caregiving and educating. That's a trickier issue to address, in some sense, - but also really important one.
Tara Mohr
My program was about 30% women - and that imbalance in numbers definitely impacted how many of the women felt there. I was surprised by what often felt like 1950's attitudes toward women still present in the school culture. We had the same issues in my program that have now been well-studied at Harvard Bschool and other top programs: 1) women speak up in class less and 2) women enter with similar academic credentials, but by the end of two years, men are winning most of the academic awards.
The dearth of tenured women faculty, the lack of women in case studies, and the lack of women guest speakers definitely contribute to a very male-centric dynamic, as does I think the overall dearth of women in business leadership.
The problematic good girl/good student behaviors we learn in school that I write about aren't so common in MBA programs, which, in their attempt to be practical, do a pretty good job of forcing students to improvise, generalize, and make their work visible - whereas most other classroom environments do not.
The dearth of tenured women faculty, the lack of women in case studies, and the lack of women guest speakers definitely contribute to a very male-centric dynamic, as does I think the overall dearth of women in business leadership.
The problematic good girl/good student behaviors we learn in school that I write about aren't so common in MBA programs, which, in their attempt to be practical, do a pretty good job of forcing students to improvise, generalize, and make their work visible - whereas most other classroom environments do not.
Tara Mohr
I think there are probably about twenty women and men I count as role-models/inspirations from afar - from Eve Ensler to Tara Brach to Oprah to Marianne Williamson. There are also of course people in my day to day life that have had that impact on me. I notice that I and many women I know don't have just one or two formal mentors - rather we draw inspiration from different aspects of many people's lives and careers.
Tara Mohr
I couldn't agree more! And I'm always so happy when people say they find Playing Big to be actionable and practical....I hope you won't think of the book as giving advice as much as giving you a set of tools to use day to day. I'd give yourself time to focus on integrating the tools from one chapter so they become habit before moving on to the next. In other words, spend a week using the inner critic tools...then move onto Inner Mentor work...and so on. Of course, another great way to give yourself support and accountability is to form a group, ongoing PB book club, or just get an accountability buddy...The Playing Big course that I teach offers another way to do this because we take the tools one at a time over 6 months. Some people also like to write prompts/reminders into their calendars to help them remember to use the tools.
Tara Mohr
I'd look at this through the lens of "feedback tells you about the person giving it; not about you." Tell me a little more about who is giving you that feedback and anything more they've said about it...and then we can apply the Unhooking tools...
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