Ask the Author: Ali Binazir

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Hello Ali How can you try to reach out of your comfortzone but to be confident as you do it? I am so scared to do many things in life because I fear that I will fail or that the outcome will be bad, but everytime I went out of my comfortzone is when i succeed.. but i lack confidence, how can you be confident?

Ali Binazir One way that works is to re-frame the fear as excitement. Physiologically, they're exactly the same; the only difference is the story you choose to have your brain tell about it. So choose excitement! And not only is confidence meaningless, but it's also harmful because it's ego-based and therefore unstable. Choose curiosity instead. Ask questions like "What can I learn from this situation?" Or "How can I get to know this person better?" Nobody can take your curiosity away from you, and regardless of what happens, you'll always get a result, taking success/failure out of the equation. With the combination of excitement and curiosity, you can then start having fun with the whole process, which is *the* key to getting better at this stuff.

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