Ask the Author: Princess Jones
Answered Questions (3)
Princess Jones
First of all, let’s acknowledge that this is a weird question. People rarely run up to you to say “Hey! I just gotta know something! What’s your favorite fruit, man?” I look at the interviews my author friends are doing about the importance of their books, their cultural backgrounds, and their writing process. And I’m over here getting questions about fruit.
But I do love fruit. It’s like eating candy without the stigma. You walk around with a bag of Snickers 24/7, people think one thing about you. You show up with a bag of apples everywhere, you’re put in a whole other category.
One of the reasons I love fruit is that I didn’t really get a lot of it as a kid. Fruit was foreign to me. I could have mac and cheese any time
I wanted but a navel orange was so rare that I craved them. My parents loved us but honestly I ate a lot of junk growing up. When everyone you know eats terribly, you think that’s normal. It’s hard to change your whole perception of what food is after living a few decades not quite understanding that green stuff isn’t bad.
But I was always a little weirdo. I remember seeing some people on PBS or Nick Jr or something eating cantaloupe. I had no idea what it was but I was very interested in it. They seemed to be having an amazing time. So I told my dad that I just needed to get this thing I saw on TV. It was called “cant-a-loop” and had he heard of it? Of course, he had and he’d see what he could do.
A couple of days later, he brought home a whole cantaloupe from the store. I was so happy I was jumping up and down. He pulled it out of the grocery bag and handed it to me. And I held it in awe. Then I said “How do I open this?” I was seriously confused by this new invention called “cant-a-loop.”
But to get back to the question at hand, I’d have to say white grapes. They are on every single grocery list I write. I usually buy two bags. One goes in the freezer and one goes in the fridge. The frozen grapes are great for when you want ice cream or an ice pop. I also used to have this terrible habit of chewing ice and frozen grapes helped me kick that habit.
But I do love fruit. It’s like eating candy without the stigma. You walk around with a bag of Snickers 24/7, people think one thing about you. You show up with a bag of apples everywhere, you’re put in a whole other category.
One of the reasons I love fruit is that I didn’t really get a lot of it as a kid. Fruit was foreign to me. I could have mac and cheese any time
I wanted but a navel orange was so rare that I craved them. My parents loved us but honestly I ate a lot of junk growing up. When everyone you know eats terribly, you think that’s normal. It’s hard to change your whole perception of what food is after living a few decades not quite understanding that green stuff isn’t bad.
But I was always a little weirdo. I remember seeing some people on PBS or Nick Jr or something eating cantaloupe. I had no idea what it was but I was very interested in it. They seemed to be having an amazing time. So I told my dad that I just needed to get this thing I saw on TV. It was called “cant-a-loop” and had he heard of it? Of course, he had and he’d see what he could do.
A couple of days later, he brought home a whole cantaloupe from the store. I was so happy I was jumping up and down. He pulled it out of the grocery bag and handed it to me. And I held it in awe. Then I said “How do I open this?” I was seriously confused by this new invention called “cant-a-loop.”
But to get back to the question at hand, I’d have to say white grapes. They are on every single grocery list I write. I usually buy two bags. One goes in the freezer and one goes in the fridge. The frozen grapes are great for when you want ice cream or an ice pop. I also used to have this terrible habit of chewing ice and frozen grapes helped me kick that habit.
Princess Jones
While I have many sins, chronic lying isn’t one of them. This is for two reasons. The first is that I talk too damn much to be trying to remember shit I said. And second, I just am not embarrassed or ashamed by enough things to lie about them. In fact, I’m much more likely to just say “Yeah, that’s none of your business.”
But I have lied, of course. I think the most blatant lie I ever told was that I was pregnant. I actually did say I was pregnant. I was on a city bus and I wanted a seat so I just pretended to be pregnant.
Now, any of you who have ridden public transportation know that in a perfect world someone gives up a seat for the pregnant, elderly, or disabled on the bus or train. But in the real world, you also know that when you see that pregnant lady with three kids wobble onto the train car, you’re thinking “FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK. I don’t want to stand up for an hour.” And then you play that game of chicken with everybody else there. You don’t want to get up if you don’t have to but you also don’t want to be the douche who didn’t.
Commuting in NYC is hard. It’s tiring. It’s smelly. Sometimes it’s an obstacle course. You just wanna get home now. And if you’re doing it during rush hour, you’re likely standing for most of it holding on to some tiny piece of a handrail while uncomfortably close to a stranger–a stranger who doesn’t smell nice.
On the day in question, I was tired. Really tired. And I was the only one standing on the bus. So I decided to put this belly–from Chipotle, not a fetus–to use. I pushed it out as far as it would go, rubbed it, and tried to make my face look like I was making a baby. The only problem is that I’ve never been pregnant and I don’t really hang out with pregnant people. So I probably just looked constipated.
Still, it worked. A man offered me a seat. I sat down for the next 25 minutes and then got off the bus. And no, I don’t really regret it.
But I have lied, of course. I think the most blatant lie I ever told was that I was pregnant. I actually did say I was pregnant. I was on a city bus and I wanted a seat so I just pretended to be pregnant.
Now, any of you who have ridden public transportation know that in a perfect world someone gives up a seat for the pregnant, elderly, or disabled on the bus or train. But in the real world, you also know that when you see that pregnant lady with three kids wobble onto the train car, you’re thinking “FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK. I don’t want to stand up for an hour.” And then you play that game of chicken with everybody else there. You don’t want to get up if you don’t have to but you also don’t want to be the douche who didn’t.
Commuting in NYC is hard. It’s tiring. It’s smelly. Sometimes it’s an obstacle course. You just wanna get home now. And if you’re doing it during rush hour, you’re likely standing for most of it holding on to some tiny piece of a handrail while uncomfortably close to a stranger–a stranger who doesn’t smell nice.
On the day in question, I was tired. Really tired. And I was the only one standing on the bus. So I decided to put this belly–from Chipotle, not a fetus–to use. I pushed it out as far as it would go, rubbed it, and tried to make my face look like I was making a baby. The only problem is that I’ve never been pregnant and I don’t really hang out with pregnant people. So I probably just looked constipated.
Still, it worked. A man offered me a seat. I sat down for the next 25 minutes and then got off the bus. And no, I don’t really regret it.
Princess Jones
I’m currently working on Super, which follows a young woman living in NYC with a secret.
I’ve always had a thing for super heroes. I love people who put on a cape and say “Not on my watch, buddy!” But I’ve also always thought that superheroes must have a hard time fitting in. Even if you have some alter ego, you’re probably late all of the time and can’t tell anyone where you’ve been. You probably break stuff or get hurt unexpectedly and everyone wonders what happens to you. A superhero is probably the worst employee in the world. She never finishes her TPS reports because she’s gotta fly off to save the world. And of course, she has nothing to say for herself when she gets back.
The more I thought about this, the more I was sure that I needed to write about a superhero may save the world one step at a time but she wasn’t so good at saving herself. And voila! That’s how we got Audrey Hart, the main character of Super. Hopefully her adventures will be in stores by the end of the year and you guys can tell me what you think about her.
I’ve always had a thing for super heroes. I love people who put on a cape and say “Not on my watch, buddy!” But I’ve also always thought that superheroes must have a hard time fitting in. Even if you have some alter ego, you’re probably late all of the time and can’t tell anyone where you’ve been. You probably break stuff or get hurt unexpectedly and everyone wonders what happens to you. A superhero is probably the worst employee in the world. She never finishes her TPS reports because she’s gotta fly off to save the world. And of course, she has nothing to say for herself when she gets back.
The more I thought about this, the more I was sure that I needed to write about a superhero may save the world one step at a time but she wasn’t so good at saving herself. And voila! That’s how we got Audrey Hart, the main character of Super. Hopefully her adventures will be in stores by the end of the year and you guys can tell me what you think about her.
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