Ask the Author: Mandy Stadtmiller
Answered Questions (4)
Mandy Stadtmiller
Pick the smallest possible thing. Write about that.
Mandy Stadtmiller
Stop looking for someone to give you a reason to write. Stop clinging on to excuses and being so awesome about having an answer at the ready for why you can't do something. If you have not been kidnapped and your ransomer's specific demand is, "You are not allowed to write or we will kill you," there's always a way to get around the excuse that your head has created. And, also, it's fine not to write. Like, the world has a million writers. Maybe you're a painter. There's no reason you need to write. Sometimes just taking that pressure off yourself can be helpful. And whatever you can do, protect your love of writing. I had to leave newspapers in 2000 because I started to hate writing. It took me several years (even though I was still making a living as a professional writer) to get to the point where I wrote for joy again. I was only able to get to that point because I started to figure out how to protect one of my passions. And that was by safeguarding my passions and joys and separating them from how I made a living. When I made a living writing for a medical school alumni magazine, my heart wasn't in it--and that was the perfect fit for me at the time. Because I was able to get back to the point where I remembered the sense of joy, wonder, passion and play that I initially had with writing, rather than putting my heart into newspaper pieces, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and being so easily crushed by something I saw as unfair or demoralizing or that made me despise writing. You have to figure out the right balance that works best for you so that you can separate your love of writing with your ability to make money from it. It takes a lot of exploring and experimentation, and I could write about this topic for hours, but just give yourself the room and the space to figure it out rather than expecting to discover it perfectly the first time around. The money in writing comes from pursuing the passion first. I started a free blog. Then I got hired by the New York Post for a great salary. I didn't say, "I can't write until I get paid for it." Of course I wanted to get paid, but I pursued the passion, and the interest in hiring me as a writer followed, because the writing I did as a result of pursuing it out of love sparkled with a certain energy. I always say, look at the career of Brian Stelter, who is now at CNN but when he was young, just decided: I'm going to write a blog about the TV industry. Then the NYT hired him. Just decide you are going to be the expert at something, pursue that, create a thing, and stick to it. Stop expecting other people to give you shit. Life just doesn't work that way anymore in 2018. We are all publishers, and anyone can suddenly rise out of the unknown masses to be the next star. Just force yourself to have some measure of discipline in whatever you pursue and don't expect it to happen overnight. Do whatever you need to do to metaphorically "get it up" that day or in the morning so you can find some measure of gratitude and pleasure and joy to keep going. Sometimes it's literally, "No one is poking my eyes out with a 12-foot spike so that's pretty good." And then you keep going and find a way to stop feeling sorry for yourself and shake the self-pity off. Trust me: I get self-pity. I'm, like, the queen of it. But self-pity is the enemy of productivity. If you can claw your way out of it, miracles start to happen. Just do one little action in the right direction of where you want to go. Be kind and gentle and loving to yourself. Treat yourself with the nurturing that you might someone else. Celebrate that first 12 words you write. Dance around the living room, singing, I wrote 12 words! I wrote 12 words. Then write the next 12. Don't give up. Keep going.
Mandy Stadtmiller
Learning to be more honest with myself about things that I may not to want to admit are there, beneath the surface. Having a better life because of it. Leading a richer life because of uncovering truths that I only able to get to because of writing.
Mandy Stadtmiller
I force myself to write. I ask friends to threaten me. I tell them to text me things like, "I won't ever speak to you again if you don't give me 800 words in the next hour." Sometimes that doesn't work because I don't believe them. So I find other friends to do it until I finally feel cowed enough into writing. Sometimes it's 4 a.m., and I can't reach anyone. So I just force myself to write. Sometimes what I write is, "I'm a piece of shit and untalented and am destined to fail." It gets deleted eventually, but hey that's 12 words right there. It's writing! Sometimes you just have to write through whatever the hell you're experiencing, and it's not always pretty. But action is a glorious thing.
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