Jon Konrath > Quotes

“Konrath corn dog muffins:

1. Preheat oven to 400.

2. Mix 2 boxes of Jiffy corn muffin mix with 1 cup ranch dressing.

3. Cut up 4 hot dogs into bite-size pieces. Eat the other 6 hot dogs in the pack cold.

4. Mix most of the hot dogs into the mix; pour into 12-14 muffin cups 2/3 full; top with the rest of the hot dogs.

5. Bake 13-15 minutes. Order a pizza while you are waiting.

6. Drench in ketchup and eat all of them at once while you get blackout drunk on store-brand vodka in a plastic five-gallon bottle shame spiral over your poor life choices. Then eat the pizza.”
― Jon Konrath, Decision Paralysis

“When I write any of the stories like the ones in this book, whatever you call them — microfiction or flash or gonzo fiction or whatever — the more of these I do, the more I realize I’m writing the same five or six stories over and over again. I think ten years ago, when I started thinking about the possibility of stealing Hunter Thompson’s gonzo journalism shtick and using it for fiction, it made total sense. Instead of writing autobiographical fiction or creative nonfiction and lamenting that I couldn’t write “weird” stuff, I’d use a first-person participatory story, and wrap it around a core piece of some observational opinion piece. Instead of writing about how Richard Nixon was a weirdo or publishing excruciating reviews of old Dokken records, I’d write a story about how I used to hang out with Richard Nixon and listen to Dokken records with him. And that worked, until it didn’t.”
― Jon Konrath, The Failure Cascade