Richard A. Lupoff > Quotes

“At this point the door of the hospital room swung open and Lieutenant Adam Burke strode into the room, followed by a couple of uniformed officers. He glared at Andy Winslow. "You left the scene of the crime, Winslow."

Andy looked innocently at the cop. "I did?"

"You know damned well you did. Who the hell do you think you are, letting a corpse into the house and then leaving her there on the floor to die."

Andy grinned. "What corpse would that be, Lieutenant?"

"This one!" Burke jabbed a thumb at the slight figure on the bed.

"You mean Miss Mayhew, Lieutenant? I don't think Miss Mayhew is dead. Are you dead Miss Mayhew?"

The slim woman managed a wan, tiny smile. "I don't think I'm dead. I don't even feel sick. I do have a dreadful headache, though."

Andy Winslow grinned, "You're entitled to that." Then, to the cop, "It's true that Miss Mayhew was shot at Caligula Foxx's house. I though it was more important to make sure that she was all right, than to wait around for New York's Slowest -- er pardon me, I mean New York's Finest - to arrive.”
― Richard A. Lupoff

“Jacob," Rose persisted, "I still want to know what gave you the idea of singing like that. You weren't really drunk, were you?"

"Jews don't get drunk."

"You don't know everybody I do."

"Anyway, it was this." He laid a finger across the bridge of his nose and swept it down to the tip. "Put me in a lineup with a Chinaman, a Choctow, and a Hottentot, and ask anybody to pick out the Jew and they'll get it right on the first try."

"But--"

"But nothing, Rose. It's the old Poe gimmick. Hide in plain sight. If a Jew tried to infiltrate that bunch of Nazis, what's the obvious thing to do? He'd head to the darkest corner he could find, he'd keep his head down and his trap shut and hope that nobody'd notice him. And do you think that would work? In a pig's ass - pardon my French, Rose - they'd catch him out in a minute. So I stood up and acted drunk and sang Nazi songs. No Jew would do that; so they just figured I was an unlucky Aryan who managed to pick up a bad gene from a wandering ancestor. So maybe this drunk wasn't quite one hundred percent pure Aryan, but he was obviously as good Nazi, so let him be. At least for now.”
― Richard A. Lupoff

“What nonsense! What arrogance! What blind, ignorant balderdash!”
― Richard A. Lupoff, The Doom That Came to Dunwich: Weird Mysteries of the Cthulhu Mythos

“Freddie did his thing with the panshin light and the little book, the kind men like,”
― Richard A. Lupoff, Sacred Locomotive Flies

“cloudlets of striped and spotted smoke drifted slowly from his mouth.”
― Richard A. Lupoff, Sacred Locomotive Flies

“discovered a new position for intercourse (turned out to be a minor variation on Old Hundredth; Freddie snorted and shook his carrotty curls) to a recipe for chocolate sour cream waffles in cannabis sauce.”
― Richard A. Lupoff, Sacred Locomotive Flies

“She pulled him through the door. As he passed the jamb from the dingy hallway it was like stepping into a Gilbert Morosco party. Lines wavered, planes warped, colors blended and changed and formed unfathomable patterns; odors penetrated his head, drove openings through passages”
― Richard A. Lupoff, Sacred Locomotive Flies

“And S. I. Hayakawa, multiplex stringman. I’d tell you not to fret but that would spoil your playing.” Freddie cackled merrily at his pun, then pointed his plastic weapon at the gross musician who joined feebly in the”
― Richard A. Lupoff, Sacred Locomotive Flies