Chuck Tingle > Quotes

“On a long enough timeline, endings are inevitable.
Tragedy is inevitable.
Fortunately, so is joy.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bury Your Gays

“It is a sad but very real truth that there is no future for relationships where spaghetti and chocolate milk does not play a major role.”
― Chuck Tingle, Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To Romance

“As time passed the political climate changed greatly.  People started to completely forget about borderlines of sexuality, instead turning their attention to the differences between humans and unicorns.”
― Chuck Tingle, Pounded By The Gay Unicorn Football Squad

“We haven’t been blessed by some incredible superpower from the great beyond, we’re just curious. Sometimes that’s all it takes.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“You know who the real villain is?” I continue, strolling through the lobby and joining a line of other writers, directors, cinematographers, and actors as they filter inside to find their seats. “Unchecked capitalism and the desire for capitalist systems to monetize other people’s trauma.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bury Your Gays

“giving myself enough room to center myself and then quickly transform into a handsome helicopter.”
― Chuck Tingle, Helicopter Man Pounds Dinosaur Billionaire Ass

“That acknowledgement could arrive after several decades, or it could happen tonight, but the time will come. Eventually, I'll have to fully contend with this simple fact: the love I was promised was conditional.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“I’m gay,” Bumbleborn says. ​“Uh… what?” I stammer, a little confused. “That’s cool.” ​“I just wanted to say that clearly in this story instead of claiming years later it was there in the subtext the whole time,” the woolly mammoth continues. ​“That’s awesome,” I reply with a smile, only half following this conversation that’s clearly steeped in metamagic. ​”
― Chuck Tingle, Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus

“The beats of this particular story are music to my ears, and I'm certainly not complaining, but they're not the beats I'm used to. Then again, not everything has a perfect structure: a beginning, middle, and end. Not every tale has an act-three synthesis and a dark night of the soul.
Sometimes life just is.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bury Your Gays

“THE VOID hates creation. if you ever hear call of the lonesome train with sad days ahead do not forget this direct response at your fingertips: CREATE SOMETHING. anything. even if no buds ever know. this is powerful rebuke against the vast nothing and pushes back to say I AM HERE”
― Chuck Tingle

“My conscious mind was ignorant to the fact that I’m gay, but even I knew I was autistic.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“Suddenly, it all makes sense; the strange way that Domald moves, the green color of his skin, the long neck. Domald Tromp is the Loch Ness Monster.”
― Chuck Tingle, President Domald Loch Ness Tromp Pounds America's Butt

“Our relationship wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but it was real. It was misunderstandings and growth and forgiveness and acceptance and, of course, the beauty that comes along with all that. We were so much more than a montage of upbeat music and endless smiles.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“TERFs were kicked even deeper into the dumpster where they belong.”
― Chuck Tingle, Straight

“and sitting next to me are both Jesus and Santa Clause, each of them incredibly ripped and shirtless.          Nice.”
― Chuck Tingle, Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups

“Unlike the last encounter, this cup of chocolate milk has a certain twinkle in his eye, a relaxed and suave nature that simply wasn’t there the first time around.  This universe is the same but different; a little more flirty, a little more exciting… a little more gay.”
― Chuck Tingle, Shared By The Chocolate Milk Cowboys

“They say you know it’s love when someone offers to drive you to LAX, and right now I’m feeling the love. Most relationships would fall apart if you put them through the high-performance stress test that is currently my life, but for some reason all this tension only serves to make Zeke step up even more. Do I deserve it? Probably not.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bury Your Gays

“Do everything that you can to resist Void Madness. Focus on the love, joy and
happiness that can be found within yourself, no matter where you are. If you ponder the
reality of The Void’s vast expanse for even one brief moment, it could have devastating
effects on your mind, so focus instead on the present. Bring your attention to your day-today
goals.
How will you find food? What will you drink to survive? Where is there a safe place to
hide?
Focusing on the present will keep you from straying into Void Madness, and keep you
productive for the harsh times ahead.”
― Chuck Tingle, Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To The Void

“On a long enough timeline, endings are inevitable. Tragedy is inevitable. Fortunately, so is joy.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bury Your Gays

“Slowly disconnecting from your community—from your family—is difficult, and while it seems like unearthing their sinister motives and dark secrets might make the process easier, it will never entirely quell the pain. I’ve been avoiding this dark ache by keeping my mind busy while my body couldn’t be, but it hasn’t gone away. The sadness is still there, lurking in the corner like a pale demon in a red polo, just waiting to finally be acknowledged. That acknowledgment could arrive after several decades, or it could happen tonight, but the time will come. Eventually, I’ll have to fully contend with this simple fact: the love I was promised is conditional.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“I’m sorry,” he suddenly blurts, noticing my appalled expression. “I’m just written this way.” ​“What?” I question, confused. ​“It’s a trope in romance,” the dinosaur continues to explain. “The more of an asshole I am in this part of the book, the better the payoff is when you change me later on.”
― Chuck Tingle, Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus

“This is the endless dichotomy of existence, I suppose, moments of visceral horror and divine beauty happening all at once to create an impossibly unique thing called life.”
― Chuck Tingle, Lucky Day

“I'm gonna be real with you," I reply. "I don't give a shit.”
― Chuck Tingle, Bury Your Gays

“Just how rich are you?” I finally ask. ​“Pretty rich,” Snabe informs me. “I didn’t really earn it, though. I was written into incredible wealth by Chuck Tingle, the author. You can’t really just be a bad boy in books like this, you’ve gotta be a billionaire bad boy. It’s kinda toxic, actually.” ​I”
― Chuck Tingle, Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus

“yes. i am the worlds greatest author, but guess what SO ARE YOU. very exciting news, cant wait to see what you do next”
― Chuck Tingle

“I just wanted to reiterate conclusively and explicitly in the actual text that Bumbleborn and I are a gay couple," Grindlebad adds.”
― Chuck Tingle

“Rose 7:8. And upon the wicked she shall rain a mighty tempest of fire, smiting those who dared steal away her thoughts, but forgot to quell her vengeance.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“Existence is chaos and there are no answers. Even in statistics, you're often just hedging your bets...”
― Chuck Tingle, Lucky Day

“Rose 15:30. For the righteous sword of truth is so sharp that even half swings will graze a bone of incredible depths.”
― Chuck Tingle, Camp Damascus

“Submissive   Believe it or not, some people want to have relationships made entirely out of getting yelled at and called mean names.  While this type of situation is not for everyone, it is not entirely uncommon in a community known as BDSM (Bigfeet and Dinosaurs Screaming Meanly).”
― Chuck Tingle, Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To Romance