Andrew Aitken > Quotes

“The biggest obstacle is that when people fall in love, they tend to seek out the qualities of their ex in the people they date afterwards. A guy will seem attractive because he has the same hair as your ex, because he dresses similarly, because he drives the same car, or because he has similar mannerisms or interests. You are liable to believe that it is those things about him that attract you; however, the truth is that those things merely remind you of being attracted. On a psychological level, those two feelings are not so incredibly different, so they are easily confused.”
― Andrew Aitken, Beyond the Breakup: Understanding Your Ex-Boyfriend from The Male Perspective

“You can probably think of one man that stands out the most in this sense. Probably it is the ex that made you interested to read this book. This man most likely changed the way you think more than anyone else has. Or maybe he affected you emotionally more than any other man – that is, he made you feel more deeply than any other man did. While you kept other men at a distance (either due to a lack of attraction or a lack of trust), you were attracted to him and felt comfortable with him, and therefore allowed him into your life. You opened yourself to him and received him, allowing him to affect your thoughts, emotions, and even your actions. He caused you to think in ways you’d never thought before, feel in ways you’d never felt before, do things you’d never done before, or go places you’d never gone before.”
― Andrew Aitken, Beyond the Breakup: Understanding Your Ex-Boyfriend from The Male Perspective