Larry Correia > Quotes

“I blame it on Twilight. In real life, vampires only sparkle when they're on fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“Nikolai's a badass Russian. Badass Russians only have three emotions: revenge, depression, and vodka.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Alpha

“Fish and Wildlife wants to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“There are three kinds of people in the world: people who can't believe anything, suckers who believe everything, and a few of us who can face the truth.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“[W]hen all else fails, kill it with fire.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Alpha

“Their patch was a molecule with fangs under the words exite! chemicus sum! Which was Latin for, Back off, man! I'm a scientist!”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Vendetta

“You know that ‘no weapons at work’ policy?” I asked the twitching and growing hairy monstrosity standing less than ten feet from me. His yellow eyes bored into me with raw animal hatred. There was nothing recognizably human in that look.

“I never did like that rule,” I said as I bent down and drew my gun from my ankle holster, put the front sight on the target and rapidly fired all five shots from my snub-nosed .357 Smith & Wesson into Mr. Huffman’s body. God bless Texas.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“I've got a chainsaw with my name on it in my workshop," Milo told us happily. "If I'm ever killed by undead, I want you guys to chop me up with it. It's a good chainsaw."
"I reckon it is, Milo. I would be honored to chop your head off," Sam said.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“If you are serious, and you want to make a living as an author, then you need to hustle. Period. If you can't make that quality, then you need to concentrate on your craft and practice more.

One other thing, quality comes with practice. If you are prolific, then you become a better writer because you are writing. The more you do anything the better at it you will become. So in a way, quantity does add to quality.”
― Larry Correia

“Susan, you were a mighty fine woman when you were alive and all, but personally I'd rather be gang-raped by giant, rabid, syphilitic porcupines, than join your shithead, hippie-commune, undead family, you scrawny-ass, vampire skank whore.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“On one otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“Why can’t we ever fight cute, helpless monsters? Like the ones on Sesame Street?”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“Lee threw down the tripod, and Trip dropped the FN MAG machine gun onto it...Lee hunkered down behind the big weapon. Holly handed me an RPG. The heavy tube was reassuring in my hands. Everyone dug down into the ditch, prepared to fight. Nervous but competent. Scared but professional. We were ready to put some smack down. Not bad for an accountant, a librarian, a schoolteacher, and a stripper.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“I think that the law isn’t about words on paper. It’s about doing what’s right,”
― Larry Correia, Spellbound

“A wise man once told me that the place where they make law is the place where they’re the least likely to obey it,”
― Larry Correia, Son of the Black Sword

“I’d tell you to be careful, but I know you’ve got eyes in the back of your head.” “Tried that once. Too disorienting.” “You’re a very literal man, Franks. . . .”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“People think that the South is racist, and it was, and some parts still are, but for the most part, we've dealt with our history. The biggest racists I've ever met aren't here, they're in politics, and they are smug bastards. They're the ones that are quick to play the race card, the ones that pimp poverty. Those are the real bigots.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“Aspiring authors, get this through your head. Cover art serves one purpose, and one purpose only, to get potential customers interested long enough to pick up the book to read the back cover blurb. In the internet age that means the thumb nail image needs to be interesting enough to click on. That’s what covers are for.”
― Larry Correia

“But if I have to deal with another stupid elf and their mystic crap I swear I'm going to shoot them all in their stupid inbred hick faces and burn their trailer park down.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“Having spent time in Hell, he knew that government paperwork was the closest mankind had ever come to achieving true soul-crushing misery.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“So did you score with your friend's dead mom ?”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“You misunderstand the point of a symbol of faith then." He walked towards the vampires. "You're abominations, of course it doesn't matter to you. What matters is how much it means to me.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“She wore glasses, and I was a sucker for a girl in corrective eyewear. Since I was ugly it was probably some sort of subconscious reaction in the hope that I might have a chance with a cute girl who couldn't see very”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“But like they say, if an idea’s stupid, but it works, then it ain’t stupid,”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Alpha

“I'm not in the redemption business”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International

“He tried to choke me with the seat belt, so I elbowed him in the face until he stopped moving. It took three good blows to his noggin to put him out. I’ll admit, I enjoyed that part.”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“Evil can kill you, break your body, and sometimes it can even break your mind, but only you can break your spirit.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Legion

“The sight of so many guns, mostly deer rifles and duck guns but with a smattering of black rifles and riot shotguns, made him glad that this was going down in a rural area where people still had their heads screwed on right about personal defense.”
― Larry Correia, The Monster Hunters

“An hour ago Franks had been swatted across the Strip by a dragon made of ectoplasm and nightmares. Bureaucratic plotting seemed inconsequential in comparison.”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter Nemesis

“You're the modern versions of Beowulf, of St. George, of Odysseus. You're Van Helsing with firepower. You're Jack and the Beanstalk with automatic weapons. We're walking in the valley of the shadow of death, but we shall fear no evil! Because evil is about to get a stake put through its black heart because we are the baddest mother-fuckers to ever set foot in the valley!”
― Larry Correia, Monster Hunter International