Max Brallier > Quotes

“Quint holds up his hand. “Dirk, you have no reason to be angry at me. You clearly have some sort of chip on your shoulder, and—” “Wait, he does?” I look at Dirk. “Is it a chocolate chip?” Quint”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“chill out. We make root beer cocktails and we roast marshmallows and we kick back, relax, and enjoy the post-apocalyptic sunset.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“I was totally not a hero, totally not a tough guy, totally not fighting giant monsters. But look at me now. Battling a gargantuan beast on the roof of the local CVS. Life is crazy like that.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“But like I tell him, that doesn’t explain the feeling in my gut. He tells me the feeling in my gut is probably just gas and I sock him on the arm.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“Now, I realize in terms of, like, all-time ultimate heroic quests, “writing a book” doesn’t exactly rank up there with Frodo carrying the ring to Mount Doom, but whatever.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

“Something was covering the windows—wrapping around the bus. A monster hand.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“Xbox and the toaster oven and the RC helicopter and the massage chair and the Christmas lights and all that jazz.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“It’s gross and weird,” Quint admits. “But there’s free Oreo crumble!”
― Max Brallier, Last Kids on Earth and the Midnight Blade

“Forty-two days ago, I was regular Jack Sullivan: thirteen years old, living an uneventful life in the uninteresting town of Wakefield.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“be cool, slut”
― Max Brallier, Can You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse?

“Blarg”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“I’m in a sort of dream. But this feels realer than any dream I’ve ever dreamed. It’s like watching myself, like I’m on the outside, and I’m looking in. And suddenly, I’m not at the playground anymore. I’m in Wakefield Town Square, and everything is different. The world is not back to normal, no, but it’s better. The sky is bluer-than-blue and the sun is warm on my skin. Big, beautiful plants grow. I feel alive. My entire body is buzzing, warm. I feel safe. I feel untouchable. Invincible. I come to the tree house. Looking up, I see that the tree is taller, thicker, and the tree house is now a tremendously huge sort of tree castle. Rooms and rooms on top of rooms, connected—a fortress fit for a king. But who is the king?”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King

“Back in town, I can’t contain my excitement! We’re throwing a real-life Battle Royale right here in Wakefield! Skaelka yells, “YES! Combat! Finally!” Before I can explain the rules, there’s a CLANG. And then another. The sound of real weapons. At the first mention of battle, the monsters are unsheathing interdimensional swords and brushing off monstrous maces!”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Midnight Blade

“And Ŗeżżőcħ came like a summer storm, hard and fast, wielding magic more powerful than we had ever known. In his sleep, his hunger had grown strong.” “I know the feeling,” I say. “Sometimes when I wake up, I’m just craving a Baby Ruth, like—” “Jack!” Quint whispers. “Oh. Right. Story time.” Bardle chuckles. “Ŗeżżőcħ did not crave ‘Baby Ruths.’ Ŗeżżőcħ craved death. He is the destructor.” I”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

“The monsters simply stare. Silence hangs in the air like a poorly timed fart.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

“That’s me. Not the giant monster. Beneath the giant monster. The kid on his back, with the splintered bat. The handsome kid, about to get eaten.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“stone and concrete rain down. The rubble pounds the grass like a meteor shower. It’s like the tomb was detonated from the inside out. Like something suddenly ripped through it . . . Woozy, gripping the damp dirt, I get to my knees.And what I see—it makes my blood run ice cold. . . .”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

“bestiary in our reinforced”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

“Ignoring the zombies, Quint and Dirk spot the High-Strike—leading to the most lopsided game ever. . . .”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King

“That’s why this is so hard. Because I want to go on an epic adventure. But I also want to stay here and have nothing change ever. I can’t have both, though.”
― Max Brallier

“See? Ping-Pong solves all problems.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“hurricane of images in my head. Neon’s eyes are dancing. He’s not trying to do this. It’s his mind, racing, losing oxygen—he can’t control it. These aren’t visions. These are memories. My memories! There are two of them, crystal clear. . . .”
― Max Brallier, June's Wild Flight

“I earn them by completing goals and challenges.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“My blood runs cold. I can barely breathe. I can’t even think of something sarcastic to say.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“got grass stains on my left butt cheek—and that’s my favorite butt cheek!”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King

“Before we go driving anywhere, we need gasoline.” See, we’ve been using gasoline by the gallon-ful to run the generator for the Xbox and the toaster oven and the RC helicopter and the massage chair and the Christmas lights and all that jazz. I had what I THOUGHT was a brilliant plan to get us some easy electricity. Y’know those wheels that mice run on in labs and junk? Well, I was going to grab a treadmill from the high school gym and . . . Quint”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth

“And did you find an Arbys?!” Globlet demands. “Was it true? DID they have the meats?”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Skeleton Road

“monster-person. Or a person-monster,”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade

“In the immortal words of that random dude who gave Indiana Jones his hat —on the same day Indy coincidentally developed a fear of snakes, got his rad chin scar, and first snapped a bullwhip—' You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.'" —Jack Sullivan”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Forbidden Fortress

“I told you guys I'm claustrophobic. Extremely. Phoo. Phoo. CAN'T BREATHE.”
― Max Brallier, The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade