Brian Katcher > Quotes

“Everyone thinks they're the only one who's ever been hurt.”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“Everyone has that one line they swear they'll never cross, the one thing they say they'll never do. Not something serious like I'll never kill anyone or I'll never invade Russia in the winter. Usually, it's something less earth-shattering.
I'll never cheat on her.
I'll never work at a job I hate.
I'll never give up on my dreams.
We draw the line. Maybe we even believe it. That's why it's so hard when we break that promise we make to ourselves.
Sage Hendricks was my line.”
― Brian Katcher, Almost Perfect

“Because that's the way the world works, isn't it? You can work hard and be miserable, or do nothing and be happy.”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“She baked you cookies!' he repeated as if I'd missed the importance.

'So what?' I turned to get my bag, but Tim blocked my way.

'She wants to have your babies.”
― Brian Katcher, Almost Perfect

“Sage would survive. I'd survive. We were better off apart. Painful and quick, just like ripping off a Band-Aid. Well, more like gouging a piece of shrapnel out of my stomach, pouring a bottle of gin into the wound, lighting it on fire, and sewing my guts up with a dirty bootlace. But the concept was the same.”
― Brian Katcher, Almost Perfect

“She turns to me, and for a moment I fear she’s turning into the She-Hulk. After a second, I realize that her eyes are just really green, kind of like two angry Life Savers.”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“We just stood there for a few seconds. Back when we were friends, we'd have already been laughing and joking. Now things were tense and awkward. There was no way I could ever be relaxed around this person again. To me, Sage would never be just Sage. She'd be Sage-the-boy-who-pretended-to-be-a-girl-and-who-I-kissed-that-one-time. No friendship could survive with that many hyphens.”
― Brian Katcher, Almost Perfect

“At a con there's one hundred percent acceptance, no ifs, ands, or buts. This is the one place where anyone can go and not be judged.”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“Nothing like the soft touch of a woman. Her smooth skin...or her rough scars.”
― Brian Katcher, Playing with Matches

“I had two beady brown eyes that, no matter how hard I tried to look mysterious and cool, always seemed to say "It wasn't just me who farted.”
― Brian Katcher, Playing with Matches

“A very loud group of bronies advances down the hall.”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“Dude, I totally pendejo!" he said, happily calling himself an asshole.”
― Brian Katcher, Playing with Matches

“I'm so well-rounded I'm almost spherical.”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“Y por unos minutos estamos los dos ahí, sosteniéndonos el uno al otro, fingiendo que nuestros mundos no se han acabado”
― Brian Katcher, The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

“all that greedy or self-absorbed. Sage’s father, cruel as he was, only wanted his son back. Tammi just wanted a sister. I wanted a “normal” girlfriend. And Sage—all she wanted was to be herself. I”
― Brian Katcher, Almost Perfect

“I expected a nod and maybe a handshake, but Dan clasped his hand to his chest, whispered something like "Chthulhu fh'tagn!" and spit into a urinal.”
― Brian Katcher, Playing with Matches

“At the con, there's one hundred percent acceptance, no ifs, and, or buts. This is the one place where anyone can go and not be judged.”
― Brian Katcher

“Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually a character in a poorly performing situation comedy. I look up at the ceiling and beseech the writers for a romantic subplot.”
― Brian Katcher, Deacon Locke Went to Prom