Johnny Carson > Quotes

“Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.”
― Johnny Carson

“In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.”
― Johnny Carson

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.”
― Johnny Carson

“The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.”
― Johnny Carson

“Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.”
― Johnny Carson

“If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators dead.”
― Johnny Carson

“people pay more to be entertained that educated ”
― Johnny Carson

“If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
― Johnny Carson

“Asked how he became a star, Mr. Carson once replied, “I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled.”
― Johnny Carson

“Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!”
― Johnny Carson

“For 3 days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but the phone calls taper off.”
― Johnny Carson

“Just be yourself -- it's the only way it can work.”
― Johnny Carson

“Desire! That’s the one secret of every man’s career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire.”
― Johnny Carson

“For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”
― Johnny Carson

“Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "storms suck!”
― Johnny Carson

“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”
― Johnny Carson

“New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most of it unsolved.”
― Johnny Carson