Ellen Fein > Quotes

“Even if your husband is full of himself, he should be allowed to dream. Let him. Don’t burst his bubble. Why would any man want to come home to a wife who rolled her eyes and said, “Right!,” every time he had an idea or made a resolution? Maybe your husband wants to run for local political office. You know he doesn’t have a prayer. He’s running anyway. You want to say, “You’ve got to be kidding!” But in this case he doesn’t want to hear the truth. He wants your support. So give it to him. Call all your friends and tell them to vote for him, stand by his side when he gives speeches, buy buttons and balloons and throw him a campaign party. It doesn’t matter if he wins or loses, what matters is that you believe in him.”
― Ellen Fein, The Rules(TM) for Marriage: Time-tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work

“Friends and colleagues meet halfway. Men (real men) pick up women at their apartments or offices for dates.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“treat the men we wanted like the men we didn’t want.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“Men love independent women because they leave them alone. They love chasing women who are busy. It gives them a thrill, as big as a touchdown or a home run.”
― Ellen Fein, The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“Because you love yourself, you are no longer interested in men who ignore you, cheat on you, hurt you either physically or emotionally, and, of course, any man who can live without you.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“Maybe she was born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline”)”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“Another common response is, “What if our marriage doesn’t work out? I want to make sure I have some money of my own.” We have a problem with that, too. If a woman is going into a marriage with thoughts of “what if it doesn’t work out,” how committed can she be? Her problem is not money, but commitment or love.”
― Ellen Fein, The Rules(TM) for Marriage: Time-tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work

“You told yourself that you don’t have to do anything more on the date than show up. He’ll either love you or not. It’s not your fault if he doesn’t call again. You’re beautiful, inside and out. Someone else will love you if he doesn’t.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“Separate vacations have become more popular among married couples. We don’t think this is a good idea. Over time, doing your own thing will cause you to lead separate lives. We are not talking about a three-day trip to Florida with your sister or best friend—if you want to take small trips like this, feel free to. But if you want to take a major vacation—say, to spend two weeks in Europe—your husband should be your travel companion. But suppose your idea of a fun vacation is going to Europe or lying on the beach in the Caribbean, while your husband loves tours of historic sites and museums. Our advice is to figure out a way to do a little of both. One year, you can go to the beach, the next year you can do a tourist package together, or go on a trip with a beach near some sites of cultural interest. Once you start planning separate vacations, you become like roommates, not lovers.”
― Ellen Fein, The Rules(TM) for Marriage: Time-tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work

“Men want to feel like they are dating a model or celebrity, so look like one!”
― Ellen Fein, The New Rules

“You stop waiting anxiously for the phone to ring—because you’re too busy living and pursuing your goals whether he calls or not.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“You don’t grovel. You’re not desperate or anxious. You don’t date men who don’t want you. You trust in the abundance and goodness of the universe: if not him, someone better, you say. You don’t settle. You don’t chase anyone. You don’t use sex to make men love you.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“After years of breaking Rules and settling for random hookups, she finally meets a cute guy and after one kiss she has an aha! moment. She realizes that she does want a healthy loving relationship, not just a lot of texting and sex.”
― Ellen Fein, Not Your Mother's Rules: The New Secrets for Dating

“If your husband is overweight, don’t ask him how much he weighs or sneak up behind him when he stands on the bathroom scale.”
― Ellen Fein, The Rules(TM) for Marriage: Time-tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work

“We accept that some people don’t want us and we go on to the next. We don’t force people to love us.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“In the romantic world, there’s only one way that truly works. The man must be attracted to and then pursue the woman.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“Your life is never on the edge because of a man.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

“remind yourself that you are a very fulfilled person—stable, functional, and happy—with a career, friends, and hobbies, and that you are perfectly capable of living with or without him. You are not an empty vessel waiting for him to fill you up, support you, or give you a life. You are alive and enthusiastic, engaged in work and in living fully on your own.”
― Ellen Fein, All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right