C.T. Phipps > Quotes

“As the Dark Lord spoke when he saw the Archangel Michael descending upon him: We are in some serious shit.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Hey, killing people doesn't count if they're bad! Hollywood taught us that.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“The situation has gone so far past the point of insanity it's come around and become mundane again.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“I don't have enough scruples to start violating the few I do.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Games of Supervillainy

“Cloak, how many laws of physics did we just break?” I asked, stunned by what had just happened. “You can’t break the laws of physics. Whenever you seem to violate one, it only means your understanding of them is incomplete. To answer your question, though, three hundred and forty-seven.” “I thought so.” I was amazed at the power”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“I'm strictly a 'look at the menu but don't order anything' guy when it comes to attractive women who aren't my wife.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Games of Supervillainy

“What IS it about this town? I never thought I’d long for the good old days of Nazi robots and dragons.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Evil is evil. Big. Small. Grand. Petty. Well-justified or just because. There’s no lesser or greater of it. Choosing between them does not make your soul any less blackened.”
― C.T. Phipps, Lucifer's Star

“Prison... it changes you. I'm not the same man I was before going on the inside. I can't go back. I won't." "You were in prison less than twenty-minutes.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“If you can’t be with the side you want, work to fix the side you’re with.”
― C.T. Phipps, Lucifer's Star

“Somehow, I think God will forgive her. If not, eh, Hell has better parties anyway.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“I admit, this sector is full of assholes,” Judith muttered. “Not just this sector. I’ve been to the others. They’re all full of assholes. Every last one of them.”
― C.T. Phipps, Lucifer's Star

“Words cannot express how pissed off I am. I am going to have to invent a new word to explain how angry I am. Karflagled. I am so karflagled off at you right now!” “See,”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Well, he’s like a wizard, right?” Mercury asked. “He’s exactly like a wizard,” Jessica said, looking over at her. “Mostly because he casts spells and shit.” “I”
― C.T. Phipps, Cthulhu Armageddon

“In space?” I choked out. “We’re all in space,” Ultragod replied, a broad smile on his face. “Humans travel on Starship Earth.” “Why thank you, Super Hippie. I can’t breathe in space, you know!”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Cloak, does God hate me?" I said. "It depends which god you mean. I've met several." "The Jewish One." "Yes.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“What are you doing?” “Sorry, I’m talking to my other personality.” “Ah. Carry”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“A spouse was the absolute best thing a supervillain could have. It was the superheroes who struck me as the perpetual bachelors. I mean, come on, the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s my enemies’ thing is so they can stay single and get sex from the people they rescue. I have it on good authority the Silver Lightning uses it all the time to pick up guys. Admittedly, the good authority was my brother’s old gang but if you couldn’t trust them then who could you trust?”
― C.T. Phipps

“To be a supervillain is to be free to do anything you want when you want it because you say so.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Games of Supervillainy

“I suppose he could be the mole,” Shannon said. “What with his being completely insane and all.”
― C.T. Phipps, Esoterrorism

“As the Dark Lord spoke when he saw the Archangel Michael descending upon him: We are in some serious shit.” “No”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Perhaps she will be understanding about the fact you’re going to put her in constant danger as well as make the world an objectively worse place by your presence.” “Let’s hope!”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Vampires actually slurp rather than suck,” I said, correcting a long-held misconception. “The heart does most of the pumping, so you really just open your mouth and let it go into your throat. The trick is to swallow it in gulps or you lose all the flavor.” Melissa”
― C.T. Phipps, Straight Outta Fangton

“It's always Ragnarok. Regular mortals have the power to blow the world sky-high and all the major supernatural factions can do the same. The thing is, though, as long as people want to live then you're going to have people stepping in the way of those who want to do something to blow us up. That's the only way you can endure it.”
― C.T. Phipps, Esoterrorism

“When you bite a human being... it's always sexual.”
― C.T. Phipps, Straight Outta Fangton

“What are you doing?” “Sorry, I’m talking to my other personality.” “Ah. Carry on.” Given”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Zombies?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Frigging zombies are going to rise if I don’t use my powers?” “Flesh-eating undead are ghouls not zombies but, yes, more or less.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Rules of Supervillainy

“Don't allow yourself to become the monster humans wish to make you. Don't live down to their expectations or try to absorb their morality. They're not worth it.”
― C.T. Phipps, Straight Outta Fangton

“Supervillainy seemed like the sort of thing you needed to be upfront with your spouse about.”
― C.T. Phipps

“I’d never mastered the villain laugh and only ever managed to sound like a discount Vincent Price in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.”
― C.T. Phipps, The Return of Supervillainy