Jes Baker > Quotes

“Beauty is something that is everywhere. The sunset is beautiful. Human connection is beautiful. Kindness is beautiful. Bodies are beautiful --all of them. Beauty is ubiquitous, inherent, and found in all of us: on the outside and the inside.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“We become too embarrassed to meet up with the friend we haven’t seen in years because we might have gained weight. We sabotage relationships by thinking we’re unworthy of physical affection. We hide our face when we have breakouts. We opt out of the dance class because we’re worried we’ll look ridiculous. We miss out on sex positions because we’re afraid we’ll crush our partner with our weight. We dread family holidays because someone might say something about how we look. We don’t approach potential friends or lovers because we assume they will immediately judge our appearance negatively. We try to shrink when walking in public spaces in order to take up as little room as possible. We build our lives around the belief that we are undeserving of attention, love, and amazing opportunities, when in reality this couldn’t be further from the truth.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Our bodies are our physical bookmarks that hold space for us in the world.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“The way we view our bodies impacts the way we participate in the world . .”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“I’m here to propose something that I believe too few of us realize: “Health” is our new “beauty myth.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“You're not a better person if you eat carrots, and you're not a fuckup if you eat pie.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Happiness is about finding what you love about yourself and sharing it. Happiness is about taking what you hate about yourself and learning to love it. Happiness is an internal sanctuary where you are enough just as you are, right now.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Fat” is just the current catchall word for all the things that we as a culture are afraid of: women’s rights, people refusing to acquiesce to cultural pressures of conformity, fear of mortality. [People who hate fat people] see body love as a move toward people taking charge of their lives and choosing what they want to do, no matter what the culture says. This is really scary to a lot of people. The anger they express is actually toward themselves. A person who hates seeing a happy, liberated person wishes they had the strength to do that, but they are too entrenched or “bought in” to the way things are right now to see it as a beautiful thing. So they see it and they hate it . . . People have invested a lot of time and a lot of resources into this game that says “thin wins.” So when people see exceptions to that rule, they feel personally invalidated, personally stolen from, personally affronted.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“This may have been a phone call with one man, but his opinions are ubiquitous. We hate watching women step out of line, speak up, and take up space. It instigates the fear Virgie talked about, which comes from not being able to control others, from not having the organized complacency that we need so desperately to feel safe. Paulo Freire said it best in one sentence: “Functionally, oppression is domesticating.”8 Oppression certainly serves its purpose—it makes outspoken and confident women a threat to our comfortable system. Which means that outspoken and confident women who are also FAT? Well, they’re another rule-breaking satanic breed altogether.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“So I made the best decision of my life: I decided to love my body.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“My body hasn't been on the socially designated "fuckable scale" for a while now, but I no longer feel the need to climb that ladder. I am not here for the men in this world--not as a scapegoat or a baby-maker, and certainly not for their sexual satisfaction. My purpose is far greater than shallow bullshit. Never again, my friends. Never again.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“People who love their bodies don’t try to purposely make other people hate their own.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“The word “pretty,” however, when used to describe a woman’s physical appearance, signifies to me a physical ideal that’s fabricated by companies to make you believe that you’ll never be enough until you reach it. Pretty is what they want you to believe in. Pretty is what causes women to battle each other. Pretty has been created to always be exclusive. Pretty is a made-up lie created to line the pockets of money-hungry assholes.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Liberation is freedom from all outside expectations, even our own. Liberation is not having to love your body all the time. Liberation is not asking permission to be included in society’s ideal of beauty. Liberation is bucking the concept of beauty as currency altogether. Liberation is recognizing the systemic issues that surround us and acknowledging that perhaps we’re not able to fix them all on our own. Liberation is personally giving ourselves permission to live life.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“Body love isn't just for fat people, it's for every person imaginable. Everyone has the right to self-love. Skinny people. Fat people. Short people. Tall people. All abilities. All sizes. All shapes. All shades. All sexes. All genders. Haters and lovers alike.”
― Jes Baker

“I was convinced that I was the problem in the relationship; that if I were to do something different, things would get better. I was unaware at the time that this was simply a manifestation of my crucial need for control. That by convincing myself that it was me, I was convincing myself that I still had the power to fix it. If it was me that needed to change, I could do that! Absolutely! No problem! I could absolutely fix this.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“When we foster appreciation for and love ourselves, we start to contribute to the world in a way that allows equality, inclusivity, and all forms of kindness.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“And then comes the exhaustion after trying so hard yet still feeling inadequate, which only reminds you how much you truly hate yourself.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Our bodies are installation art that we curate publicly. Our bodies are the first message those around us receive. Our bodies are our physical bookmarks that hold space for us in the world. Our bodies are magnificent houses for everything else that we are. Our bodies are a part of us, just as our kindness, talents, and passion are a part of us. Yes, we are so much more than our outer shells, but our outer shells are an integral part of our being, too.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“In her world a fat body was an invisible body. An invisible body was a safer body. And the safest body of all was the fat one you completely disassociate with and leave in the corner while you search for your life’s meaning everywhere else.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“We hate watching women step out of line, speak up, and take up space. It instigates the fear Virgie talked about, which comes from not being able to control others, from not having the organized complacency that we need so desperately to feel safe. Paulo Freire said it best in one sentence: “Functionally, oppression is domesticating.”8 Oppression certainly serves its purpose—it makes outspoken and confident women a threat to our comfortable system. Which means that outspoken and confident women who are also FAT? Well, they’re another rule-breaking satanic breed altogether.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Because we live in this world, we cannot realistically escape this bigotry (which manifests itself for fat bodies in lack of health care, inaccessible cities and events, harassment, and tragically, suicide). To propose that you absolutely can love your body, and if you don’t it’s because you’re not trying hard enough makes those who are affected by oppression daily feel like they’re somehow failing at this movement that is allegedly supposed to offer freedom. It’s not always possible to love your body. And it’s not something I want to ask of anyone any longer. I have been working instead on using language that respects and acknowledges these very real barriers and find myself feeling more at home with the concept of “body liberation.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“Pretty is a definition all feminine bodies are encouraged to embody, something that is a silent pledge we make by doing everything we can to exude sexiness. “I solemnly swear that I am trying to be the best version of me that you require, even if that will never be enough.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“Selfies are not only not selfish, they’re absolutely necessary. It’s the truth, and I’m sticking by it.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“My body is not meant to be a mirror for other people’s insecurities.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“Self-love isn’t something to be earned. Most importantly, loving your fat body as it is is not delusional and does not amount to self-deception. But believing that you are less of a person just because greedy assholes said so? I propose that is, and does.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“Defining worthiness by health and fitness level is not just about size discrimination. It’s also about classism. Racism. Ableism. And much more. Thanks”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living

“There is a strange phenomenon that happens when you speak your greatest fears or most shameful thoughts out loud. I’ve often heard this act of courage compared to a virus. If a virus has a bodily host, it can continue to thrive. However, if you expose that same virus to air? It dies upon contact. I have found this to be a powerful biological analogy when it comes to sharing our excruciatingly vulnerable feelings with our friends, partner, and, yes, even the internet.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“There is so much power in naming your monsters.”
― Jes Baker, Landwhale: On Turning Insults Into Nicknames, Why Body Image Is Hard, and How Diets Can Kiss My Ass

“We build our lives around the belief that we are undeserving of attention, love, and amazing opportunities, when in reality this couldn’t be further from the truth.”
― Jes Baker, Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls: A Handbook for Unapologetic Living