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“And then it's easier, knowing that I don't have to do it all at once. Knowing that fear comes and goes in waves and all I must do is wait for it to recede before I charge on.
(Hannah)”
― And Again
(Hannah)”
― And Again
“You know, you look married." "What does that mean?" I ask, endless curious about how others perceive me, especially now. Especially her. She shrugs, settling back against the wall. "Comfortable, I guess. Like you're interested in the world, but not too interested, because you're not supposed to be looking for anything anymore.”
―
―
“It amazes me, sometimes, how small a world can be. Not the world as a whole, from horizon to horizon, but the world as it exists for a single person. Sometimes it fees like a person's world can shrink to a size that would fit within the shell of a walnut. I think of prison cells and agoraphobic poets and people who are born and live and die inside the limits of the same small town. It must seem impossible to them that highways actually lead anywhere. A person could believe that airplanes are the size of flies, if she only ever sees them from afar, trailing their way across the sky. If she can even see the sky.”
― And Again
― And Again
“The sudden gnawing of the craving pisses me off. The doctors all but guaranteed that I'd be rid of my chemical dependencies in this new body. They were as gleeful as doctors get about an untested theory, a mix of earnestness and lustful salivation over the idea of it. A body that has never tasted nicotine, never had a sip of Scotch. And yet, the memory of that long-suffered impulse has me patting the pockets of the scrubs I cajoled from a cute nurse, looking for cigarettes I don't have.”
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