Stephen James > Quotes

“The book of Proverbs says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”17 This is not (despite what we wish) a warranty for a boy’s happiness. It does not mean, “If you do all the right things as a parent, your son will be happy when he grows up.” It does not mean that there is a simple formula for success. Because every boy is different, each one requires that we take a unique approach toward guiding him. Any great teacher will tell you that it’s foolish to instruct a quiet, reserved, or shy boy the same way you would discipline an outgoing, rambunctious, or aggressive boy. To nurture and discipline a boy effectively, we must see his unique heart and adapt our approach. Nurturing boys requires that our discipline be geared toward lovingly unveiling their strength and courage, according to how these characteristics are uniquely present. Whenever we discipline boys, we must do so in a way that addresses them as the unique, noble creatures they truly are—in ways that honor them and their masculinity. By disciplining our boys in ways that do not shame them, we honor their desire for strength, reinforce their sensitivity, and encourage them toward valor. If our boys are to stand a fair chance at life, they need to enter manhood believing that they are good men. If they don’t, they will be starting out behind the eight ball.”
― Stephen James, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

“he should spend x amount of time per day doing something physical outdoors; x amount of time reading; x amount of time contributing to the household, etc. He can choose the order in which he does those things, and he has some flexibility in what he chooses to do outdoors, what books he reads, etc., but he still has some general guidelines for ordering his time.”
― Stephen James, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

“We’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Boys need to see that emotions belong in the life of a man. And they need to learn how to identify, resolve, and express their emotions. If a dad doesn’t know how to do this himself (and many men don’t), he needs to learn how so he can pass that wisdom on to his son. If that’s the situation you find yourself in, let us encourage you to get plugged into a men’s group, or see a counselor, or go on a men’s retreat (like the ones offered by John Eldredge at his Ransomed Heart Boot Camps).”
― Stephen James, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

“book What Stories Does My Son Need? by Michael Gurian.”
― Stephen James, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys

“Often some of the most gifted boys have the most trouble in formal educational settings”
― Stephen James, Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys