Bill Murray > Quotes

“I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.”
― Bill Murray

“It's hard to win an argument with a smart person. It's damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.”
― Bill Murray

“The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.”
― Bill Murray

“If you have someone you think is the one, take them and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all over the world, to places that are hard to reach and hard to get out of. And when you land at JFK and you're still in love with that person, get married.”
― Bill Murray

“The Best Way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.”
― Bill Murray

“Life is so damn short. For fuck's sake, just do what makes you happy.”
― Bill Murray

“Where do these stairs go?
They go up!”
― Bill Murray

“And then depression set in....”
― Bill Murray

“I try to be available for life to happen to me.”
― Bill Murray

“There must be a bad chromosome somewhere in man that urges him to wound that which he can't conquer, deface that which is more beautiful, misunderstand and befoul the work of another.”
― Bill Murray

“People think because they employed you they’re allowed to treat you like a dictator, or whatever the worse word for dictator is. And that’s always been a problem for me. Opening the door for someone behind you is as important as designing a building.”
― Bill Murray

“It's given many great performers their start, but more importantly, it's killed thousands of barely talented people and it's put them to death, and they're now doing the jobs they're built for.”
― Bill Murray

“You gotta want it.”
― Bill Murray

“Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.”
― Bill Murray

“I try to be available for life to happen to me”
― Bill Murray

“Listen here, I’m gonna give you all advice, cause it’s too late for this one… here’s what I recommend to you. If you have someone that you think is The One, don’t just sort of think in your ordinary mind, ‘Okay let’s make a date, let’s plan this and make a party and get married.’ Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world. And go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of, and if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK and you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.”
― Bill Murray

“I try to be able for life to happen to me.”
― Bill Murray

“Let’s get one thing straight at the beginning. A lunar eclipse simply will not do. You may have seen a partial solar eclipse, but neither will that do. The sun is such a monster that until a few minutes before totality the light from the sun blasts right around the disk of the moon and the Earth is little changed.

Annie Dillard wrote that the difference between a partial eclipse and a total one is the difference between kissing a man and marrying him.

Just so. So people search out totality, no matter how remote the spot. And so we have come to Svalbard.

- from Out in the Cold”
― Bill Murray

“Даже если ты думаешь про кого-то, что она та самая, не надо идти простым путем - первое свидание, веселье, свадьба. Возьми ее в кругосветное путешествие. Купи два билета и отправляйся с ней туда, куда сложно попасть, а еще сложнее - выбраться. А потом - если вы вернетесь в родной аэропорт и если ты все еще будешь испытывать к ней какие-то чувства - женись на ней немедленно, прямо в аэропорту.”
― Bill Murray

“It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person.”
― Bill Murray

“Morty: Hey, gang, come on! Look it, just `cause we're losing doesn't mean it's all over.

Phil: Cut the crap, Morty. I mean, the Mohawks have beaten us the last twelve years, they're gonna beat us again.

Tripper: That's just the attitude we don't need. Sure, Mohawk has beaten us twelve years in a row. Sure, they're terrific athletes. They've got the best equipment that money can buy. Hell, every team they're sending over here has their own personal masseuse, not masseur, masseuse. But it doesn't matter. Do you know that every Mohawk competitor has an electrocardiogram, blood and urine tests every 48 hours to see if there's any change in his physical condition? Do you know that they use the most sophisticated training methods from the Soviet Union, East and West Germany, and the newest Olympic power Trinidad-Tobago? But it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER. I tell you, IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!

The group: IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER...

Tripper: And even, and even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days. Even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field. Even if every man, woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter, because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk cause they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!”
― Bill Murray