J.B. Trepagnier > Quotes

“Ladies, if he doesn’t know how you take your coffee, he’s not even trying. Walk away.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Library of the Profane: The Complete Series

“A toddler did more property damage than a cat, but it was illegal to charge a kid deposit and child fees like it was with pets.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“My mom taught me. She told me when she sent me out into the world, I was going to know how to take care of myself. She also said when I met the right woman, I was going to be a proper partner, not a man-child who needed a babysitter.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“I woke up snuggled into Reyson and fucking Balthazar was nuzzling my neck. That bastard better not have considered sneaking a bite in when I was half asleep.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Library of the Profane: The Complete Series

“You mean you actually like insurance policies, the health board, balancing the books, and the IRS?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Dangerous Chess Box set

“I remember that night quite well, the night I died.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Usas Box Set

“Nothing like the threat of eternal torment to get people sacrificing and praying.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Monster Song

“How did she rope the Hellhound into baking for me?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Library of the Profane: The Complete Series

“Sometimes, we could convince someone to buy us beer if we gave them cash, but the beer there is quite awful. Like watered down piss.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Flight of Crow Girl

“I don’t understand this modern custom. We all would have died if everyone was sleeping at night!” “Thank you! Now, they expect us to all feel like we are dying getting to work at seven in the morning.” “Why do they do that? Do they know nothing?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Museum of the Profane: The Complete Series

“That’s pretty mature of you.” “It’s been known to happen.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“Lieutenant Crash, Specialist Viper, Sargent Stretch, and General Boomer. That’s your tribunal?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Child of Fire, Child of Ice

“If they treated me the way they treat you, they’d have to keep paying me for my silence, but I’m a petty asshole,”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Library of the Profane: The Complete Series

“Merlin whipped out a bag of popcorn and started shoving it in his face. Where the fuck was he keeping his popcorn?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“You know there’s pretty much no way to give a girl you aren’t dating that didn’t ask for it a lacy thong and still be classy, right?”
― J.B. Trepagnier, I Regret Nothing

“No, this was pure adrenaline. Some people did drugs, and others chased that runner’s high. Ballet dancers abused our bodies for this feeling right here.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“I was O negative and so were the other scientists they grabbed. They matched us based on blood because they hadn’t made all the connections with energy yet.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Usas Box Set

“Some of my girlfriends actually wanted to stay behind and go to our state college to be close to their boyfriends. Not me. I had a full scholarship to Harvard, and even if I were in love with Rhys, I wouldn’t have given Harvard up for him. I had this weird knack with chemistry, and I fully intended to get a doctorate and try to cure diseases. Some stupid boy wasn’t going to stop me from doing that.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Fire and Brimstone

“had no idea an asexual banshee could outmaneuver a horny Unseelie, but I had a pretty good idea it would work.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“You ever seen a six-foot-eight man weep? Sartika is trying to comfort him.” “Is he upset?” “No, I think those are happy tears. Sartika is trying to get him to compose himself before he comes in so he can keep his scary cred.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Child of Fire, Child of Ice

“We had a whole feast prepared by the time the doorbell rang. I flung open the front door in excitement, with a huge grin from ear to ear. It was only fucking Arden.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“planet of fire”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Child of Fire, Child of Ice

“We normally exist as pure energy until we materialize in these vessels you see now.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Usas Box Set

“What they won’t tell you is that your cat may try to kill you at least once.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, So Your Cat Wants to Kill You

“She said she hated it when the things she loved got ruined when she found out the person behind it was garbage.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“Oh, please. You devour enemies to lovers romance novels.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Fire and Brimstone

“This was much more sensual than her back massage earlier.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, Dangerous Chess Box set

“When I was human, I didn’t believe in the concept of soulmates.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Usas Bellum Justum: The Just War

“I don’t want to teach little crotch demons when I retire. Maybe I’ll be a surly-ass fairy godmother and do makeovers for money.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Paranormal Investigation Bureau: The Complete Series

“Jelani took Kellan home three years ago. He resorted to begging for an invitation back and had stalked Jelani for a few months before she broke his nose.”
― J.B. Trepagnier, The Fall of Autrikxia