Ruth Westheimer > Quotes

“A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.”
― Ruth K. Westheimer

“Remember, attraction is only one part of a relationship. Loyalty, commitment, responsibility and maturity make up the rest.”
― Ruth K. Westheimer

“When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.”
― Ruth Westheimer

“If you’re facing a problem, don’t tell yourself that you can’t do it. Convince yourself that you have the strength to deal with almost anything because of the way you were raised. And you do! Recognizing your core strengths is an important step toward having joie de vivre. You can count on better days to come because of the good days that came before. And you can find joy in the moment because you have the resiliency to overcome the problems that may be hanging over you.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

“I actually look for things to smile about. If I’m going to a concert later that night and I start to feel in a bad mood, I think about the wonderful melodies I’ll be hearing later. I make a conscious effort to be positive. And if you want the most joie de vivre in your life, that’s what you must do as well. Negative thoughts will pop into your head, as they do to me and everybody. But why give in to those thoughts and allow your mood to be dragged downward? My suggestion is to fight off the temptation to go negative and work at being positive. Try it out and see what happens. I’m willing to bet you find the experience worth repeating again and again.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

“For a romantic relationship to work, it must have shared communication that includes a regular exchange of ideas. Without them, you might as well be roommates.”
― Ruth Westheimer, Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships

“the joy to come front and center in your life, you also have to feel your emotions, even the sad ones. You have to mourn, let the tears pour out. If you bottle the sadness in, the joy gets bottled right along with it.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

“You can’t be a risk taker and expect to win each and every time. If you could control the future, then you wouldn’t be taking any risks. And while failure leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, the sweetness of winning more than makes up for it, and you’ll never win at anything unless you take a risk in the first place.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

“It is relatively easy for a person to lie. Saying “I love you” takes little or no effort. However, demonstrating love requires involvement, participation, and action. If your relationship doesn’t have any involvement, participation, and action, then you can assume it also has very little love. Conversely, if a partner shows his or her love in a variety of physical ways—asking if you want something from the kitchen, doing household chores without prodding, buying little gifts when they’re not expected, et cetera—then the words “I love you” become less important. They’re nice to hear, but they become the icing on the cake when a person’s love is demonstrated regularly. Stop and Consider: Does your partner demonstrate his or her love?”
― Ruth Westheimer, Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships

“if there are no demonstrations of love between two people, there is no actual love. If one half of a couple never wants to hold hands, never wants to cuddle, won’t lift a finger to assist his or her partner in any way, forgets every important date, or barely says two words over dinner, then I say that person is saying loud and clear that he or she doesn’t have any love in his or her heart.”
― Ruth Westheimer, Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships

“But the question is, how can my head be filled with such sad memories and yet I am still able to make people laugh? It’s not always easy, but the secret is to compartmentalize the various sections of your brain. I can put aside the sad memories when I have to, but they’re always lurking around somewhere, and sometimes they pop up when I least expect it. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. But to allow the joy to come front and center in your life, you also have to feel your emotions, even the sad ones. You have to mourn, let the tears pour out. If you bottle the sadness in, the joy gets bottled right along with it.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

“You’ve probably seen people stuck in a situation—a close romantic relationship, a friendship, a job, membership in an organization—in which it’s clear they need to move on and yet they don’t. The most common reaction of someone outside such a situation is to ask the person, “Why keep torturing yourself?” That’s a good question, but I’d pose it from a different angle: “Why waste even one second of the next act of your life?”
― Ruth Westheimer, Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships

“When each generation listens to different music instead of music that keeps a culture and society together, it can end up dividing us.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Doctor Is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

“Exchanging confidences without fear of judgment is how friendships deepen.”
― Ruth Westheimer, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

“Every person deserves respect.”
― Ruth K. Westheimer, Heavenly Sex: Sexuality and the Jewish Tradition

“A vague feeling that something is lacking between the two of you isn’t enough reason to give up on a relationship. You need to identify concrete issues that aren’t working. You need to know what they are so that you can see whether the two of you can fix them. If they are fixable, great; if they aren’t, then move on.”
― Ruth Westheimer, Stay or Go: Dr. Ruth's Rules for Real Relationships

“In order for the turtle to move, it has to stick its neck out. There are going to be times in your life when you’re going to have to stick your neck out. There will be challenges. And instead of hiding in a shell, you have to go out and meet them.”
― Ruth Westheimer