Durenda Wilson > Quotes

“Since God wants to give our kids and us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11), it stands to reason that he intends for us to raise and educate our kids not just for graduation but for life. Life is complex and unpredictable, and kids need an education that equips them to handle that. We can’t merely fill their heads with information and expect that they will be prepared to handle whatever comes their way. Therein lies the problem with ceding our kids’ education to the powers that be. They don’t know our kids like we do. They don’t love them like we do. They are not even remotely invested in their futures. And yet they determine how our children will spend the bulk of every weekday—for twelve years. We all want our kids to have a good education, but we err when we think of education as being “neutral.” Education is never neutral. Education is discipleship. Discipleship is rooted in relationship. Relationships take time.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“Education is never neutral. Education is discipleship. Discipleship is rooted in relationship. Relationships take time.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“Boundaries are essential for many reasons, but what I love about God’s boundaries is that they are always for our good. He doesn’t put boundaries on us to withhold good from us—but to give us what is actually good, not just what we think is good. The same is true with our children. They don’t always know what is best for them, and often what they think is best will, in reality, ultimately harm them. That is why God gave them parents. As our kids need to look to us for direction, we need to look to God for direction in how to raise them.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“Parents should also question much of the contemporary emphasis on special materials and equipment for learning in a child’s environment. A clutter of toys can be more confusing than satisfying to a child. On the other hand, natural situations, with opportunities to explore, seldom overstimulate or trouble a small child. Furthermore, most children will find greater satisfaction and demonstrate greater learning from things they make and do with their parents or other people than from elaborate toys or learning materials. And there is no substitute for solitude—in the sandpile, mud puddle, or play area—for a young child to work out his own fantasies. Yet this privilege is often denied in our anxiety to institutionalize children.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“What will our kids need to be able to do? . . .
They will need to be able to nurture other healthy relationships--without us.
They will need to be able to discern which resources and skills they need in a given situation--without us.
They will need to be able to research and learn--without us.
The will need to be able to arrange their work, make a plan, execute it, and reverse engineer it if necessary--without us.
They will need to be able to fall, get up, and start again--without us.
In short, they will need to be whole and independent human beings.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“Personally, I see so many homeschooling parents stressing about the right curriculum, “getting behind,” or feeling inadequate, and I am immediately flooded with emotions. First, I feel angry because I know these are lies that continue to be repeated to parents over and over again. For twenty years, I’ve heard them play like a broken record as I watched homeschoolers constantly under siege. There are preconceived ideas and much misinformation about homeschooling floating around out there. As parents, we need to be discerning in whose opinions we value. Homeschooling can be challenging enough. It’s important to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and remember that our children have been given to us. With the exception of their Creator, no one knows them better than we do.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“Expect your boys to like weapons. It’s true. You can take all their weapons away, and they will make a gun out of a piece of toast.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!”
― Durenda Wilson, Unhurried Grace for a Mom's Heart: 31 Days in God's Word

“Quiet your heart. Is there anything that keeps coming to your mind about your family life, homeschooling, or a particular child? If the answer is yes, take some time to pray about what changes you could make that might be a better fit. Be willing to let go of expectations that may be unreasonable right now. James 1 tells us that if we ask God for wisdom, He will give it to us if we believe and do not doubt.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“I firmly believe that as a parent”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“Second, I also feel like crying because these unfounded fears can easily keep us from engaging with our kids’ hearts and truly enjoying them during their growing-up years. All of a sudden, what God designed to be some of the best years of our lives—raising our children—turn into years of ongoing stress and worry and, in turn, rob our children of their childhoods and our families of their joy.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“Sometimes they do what appears to be really dumb things. Let them make mistakes without ridiculing them.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“Brittney, our firstborn, is married with three children. My husband and I are extroverts, and Brittney is an introvert. At first, I wasn’t sure what to do with her. She was shy, and I wondered how much to push her socially. My instincts told me she would eventually grow out of her shyness, and I wasn’t going to make a problem out of something that really wasn’t one. I regularly engaged her in conversation, encouraged her to talk about her ideas, her interests, her feelings, and what was going on inside, but I tried not to push. We did the things that happened naturally for our family. She attended classes once a week at a homeschool co-op, we went to church, and we got together with friends. I modeled what good conversation looks like, but I never really made it a topic of conversation because I felt it might make her self-conscious. Brittney made friends along the way. She loved drama class, and one of the reasons she enrolled in it was because she wanted to challenge herself to grow. When she was fifteen, she auditioned for and got the lead role in the spring play. Suddenly, she blossomed and took on a leadership role that defied all evidence she was an introvert at heart. She’s never been the same. She continued to grow in confidence and is a strong, gracious soul who isn’t afraid to say what she thinks when the situation calls for it. As a thirty-year-old mom who is homeschooling her kids, she tells me that pushing an introvert is the worst thing a parent can do. She believes she would never have grown so naturally into her own skin if we had not given her permission to do so at her own pace. After high school, she worked as a receptionist at a doctor’s office, and the patients there loved her. Not only can Brittney easily talk with people her own age, but with anyone she meets regardless of their age.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“Homeschooling isn’t about creating an environment in which we helicopter parent. It’s about creating an environment that allows our kids to grow at their own pace, to become independent thinkers, and to live out their unique purposes unfettered.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“If you are planning to homeschool indefinitely, one of the first things you need to understand is that homeschooling is not a sprint but a marathon. You need to pace yourself, because if homeschooling becomes too stressful for too long, chances are you won’t make it through to the end—or you and your kids will hate it most of the time, which could damage your relationship with one another.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“That’s the beauty of homeschooling—our kids have the chance to think their own thoughts and come up with their own ideas, and they actually have the opportunity to experiment. All of this is possible if we give them time.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“It is our job as moms (parents) of boys to protect, discipline, and train them, not according to the standards of the culture that are constantly shifting—but according to the good and beautiful intentions of our Creator when He knit these amazing boys together.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“Expect your boys to develop more slowly than girls their age.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“Love of learning is snuffed out under pressure. Research tells us that half of our brain function shuts off under stress”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“Boundaries laid out by loving parents help children feel secure because they know what to expect. Their world is safe when consistent boundaries are in place. When kids feel safe and secure, they are free to grow, develop, and learn much more naturally and easily.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“The beauty of homeschooling is that we can walk through those times together. As parents, we can carefully expose our kids to as much as we feel is age appropriate in a timing that is intentional and unhurried. We can decide how to word things in a way that is fitting for each child, and by doing so we give them a very precious gift: the gift of a biblical worldview.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“God’s plan for homeschooling isn’t to leave us worn out and broken on the side of the road. He says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He wants us to walk in freedom. You have the freedom to use whatever curriculum is a good fit for your children, and you also have the freedom not to let curriculum be what defines your homeschooling—or your family. Instead, your homeschooling can look like heart discipleship, walking alongside one another, relishing the qualities that make your family unique, and taking part in simple everyday joys. Those are the things God wants for your family life and homeschooling journey. At the end of the day, we want to embrace God’s good plan for us and for our kids because this sends a very clear message to our kids that God really is good, that we can trust Him and that He’s worth following.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“We need to see ourselves as facilitators of what God wants for our kids, rather than the ones who need to teach them “everything.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“To hear God speak to us, we need to slow our hearts and hush the other voices that demand our attention. We wait patiently on the Lord alone, like Elijah did on the mountain.”
― Durenda Wilson, Unhurried Grace for a Mom's Heart: 31 Days in God's Word

“The educational system in the United States is broken and we know it. Why, then, do so many homeschool parents keep using it as a frame of reference? Why are we letting it beat us down, and why would we let that same broken system steal our kids’ childhoods and—in some cases—even our relationships with our children?”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“Learning is snuffed out quickly under pressure. Too much too soon is stressful for children. Children have a good sense of when they are ready to learn things and when they are not, and they will exhibit certain behaviors that clue us in: crying, defiance, lack of interest, and other stressful responses. We need to pay attention to these, especially in the early years. Children are adept at learning on their own, in their own way, if we allow them the space to do so. Be a student of your child, observing what strikes interest and curiosity in them. Trust and respect their natural ability to learn.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“making sure that “school” revolved around home life, not home life around school.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling

“I’ve heard it explained this way: “Our emotions are a great warning light but a terrible GPS.” In other words, emotions are very real, but how we respond to them makes all the difference in the world.”
― Durenda Wilson, Raising Boys to Men: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Raising and Homeschooling Boys

“Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, Paul Tripp”
― Durenda Wilson, The Four-Hour School Day: How You and Your Kids Can Thrive in the Homeschool Life

“I firmly believe that as a parent, you have a God-given compass inside you when it comes to raising your children. He equips us for what He puts in front of us to do, and raising our children is one of our greatest callings and accomplishments in life.”
― Durenda Wilson, The Unhurried Homeschooler: A Simple, Mercifully Short Book on Homeschooling