Jinx Schwartz > Quotes

“It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.—Noel Coward”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“A joke by fellow Texan and humorist Jack Handey sprang to mind: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did—in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“Hell, Frijòle, it ain’t against the law to drink whiskey in Texas. Yet. If it was, we could just build a fence around the whole territory and call it a jail,”
― Jinx Schwartz, The Texicans

“I have a lifelong habit for dealing with dejection: I leave town. I first ran away from home at three. Mother helped pack my bag.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“As Christopher Reeve once said, so many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Water

“A fat tractor driver smoked hand-rolled cigarettes and occasionally nipped from a bottle hidden under his seat. At eleven each morning a cook threw scraps to four patiently waiting dogs. No matter what else was going on those dogs gathered by the kitchen door like clockwork. No wonder in that, thought Safiyya, the curs eat better than many of my own people. Horsemen rode fence lines every Monday, checking for breaks and rounding up stray cattle. Saturdays, around one, the workweek came to an end and many people drifted down the hill, in groups or alone, to shop, or perhaps visit friends and relatives in the nearby village. Some rode horses, some walked, a few drove battered cars or pickups.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Deserts

“Get serious. It just ain't all that easy to off someone and get away with it." "We're talking Mexico here, for crying out loud. You know, the country where over sixty thousand people have been murdered by the cartels, and not one person prosecuted? Jeez, it's worse than Chicago." "That's because the prosecutors and judges prefer to live? But we don't have buckets of money like the druggers do. We only have our brains." "Damn.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Needs Killin'

“Hetta, we are women. Being stupid about men is our job. If we weren’t stupid, we wouldn’t have anything to do with them.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Water

“Ingrid Bergman said, ‘Happiness is good health and a bad  memory.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Salt

“To paraphrase W.C. Fields, the bastard drove me to drink and I forgot to thank him.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Water

“Her dread of fire was almost as strong as her fear of deep water. She wasn’t so much afraid of dying as she was of pain. If they had to die, she just hoped it wouldn’t hurt too much. Or for too long.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Troubled Sea

“Thou canst not joke an Enemy into a Friend; but thou may'st a Friend into an Enemy.— Benjamin Franklin”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

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― Jinx Schwartz

“Bad news isn't wine. It doesn't improve with age.— Colin Powell”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“Miz Hetta? Inquiring minds wanna know.” “You really want”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Water

“coffee strong enough to grow hair on a frog,”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Cause

“It is my theory that what others don’t see you’ve eaten doesn’t count.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Salt

“We made too many wrong mistakes.—Yogi Berra”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“So now I was wine-less and new-book-less, which for me is a grievous state of affairs.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Needs Killin'

“You cannot choose your battlefield, The Gods do that for you, But you can plant a standard where a standard never flew.—Nathalia Crane”
― Jinx Schwartz, Troubled Sea

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.—Mark Twain”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“A man with keen preservation”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Salt

“I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dryrot. I would rather be a superb meteor every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Water

“I have a feeling you need a good, old fashioned, whine and jeeze party. Now, tell me everything.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Water

“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.—George Bernard Shaw”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just The Pits

“The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever—Jacques Yves Cousteau The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach - waiting for a gift from the sea—Anne Morrow Lindbergh”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just on Porpoise

“was so depressed last night I called one of those suicide hot lines. I reached a call center in Pakistan. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.—Anonymous on the Internet”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Deserts

“To paraphrase W.C. Fields, the bastard drove me to drink and I forgot to thank him”
― Jinx Schwartz

“Nao de la China, these ships were called, because even though they sailed from Manila, most of their cargo originated in China. They left in a fleet of three for this treacherous nine-thousand mile voyage, now they were but one. What happened to the others the crew on San Carlos would never know.”
― Jinx Schwartz, Just Add Salt