David Irons > Quotes

“We got dead dork in the pond, Terri and Tommy's freak-show, fuck-fest outside, and I'm stuck in here with a pair of dykey-looking leg-walkers who look like they eat more pussy than cervical cancer!”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“Yeah, and we're not in Kansas, and I'm not Toto, so just drop your pants and let me blow you like a tornado.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“Oh, don't worry. he judges everyone...He's a Republican.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“his hands down his shorts as if searching for something he'd lost.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“Well, you can only be so positive in a wheelchair.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“She didn't like seeing that odd figure out here in the middle of nowhere; she didn't like it at all.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“Every time I look at you two, I see ya fighting and bitching, and I think of the one piece of advice I should have taken when I met your mother: pull out!”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“I know all about it - I know it's all true: I saw an infomercial on it.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp

“Cassie was virtuous and didn't want to let him French her and rummage around in her pants like a homeless man dumpster diving for a chicken bone.”
― David Irons, Don't Go to Wheelchair Camp