Joe Lycett > Quotes

“LIFE HACK #538: Melt four KitKat Chunkys together with a warm knife for a fun way to forget you are crippled by loneliness.”
― Joe Lycett, Parsnips, Buttered: How to baffle, bamboozle and boycott your way through modern life

“LIFE HACK #639: Try ‘Dry January’. Every time your mouth feels a little dry, fill it with gin!”
― Joe Lycett, Parsnips, Buttered: The hilarious, bestselling book from comedian Joe Lycett, perfect for Christmas gifting

“Play it cool Ed. I find the phrase 'destroy my asshole' is best reserved until the third date.”
― Joe Lycett, Parsnips, Buttered: How to baffle, bamboozle and boycott your way through modern life

“My attention was drawn to the Parliamentary Petitions website initially by a petition for a vote of no confidence in Jeremy Hunt. I’d never signed a petition before but when I saw one against Jeremy Hunt, I couldn’t resist. If you’re not familiar with him, imagine one of the vampires from Buffy, only 100 times less compassionate and in control of the NHS. I signed the petition, along with hundreds of thousands of others.”
― Joe Lycett, Parsnips, Buttered: How to baffle, bamboozle and boycott your way through modern life

“One recent homohobe to emerge is World Heavyweight Champion Tyson Fry, who claims that homosexuality is evil and unnatural, where his job is the most natural thing in the world: punching peoplein the head.”
― Joe Lycett, Parsnips, Buttered: How to baffle, bamboozle and boycott your way through modern life