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“Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane”
― Glass Houses
― Glass Houses
“I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow.
Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"
And what?" (Michael)
When did you get home?" Claire demanded.
Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.”
― Feast of Fools
Stake him right in the heart, shove garlic up his ass, and-and-"
And what?" (Michael)
When did you get home?" Claire demanded.
Apparently just in time to hear my funeral plans. I especially like the garlic up the ass. It's...different.”
― Feast of Fools
“Want to play baseball?’” she asked. Shane’s eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. “What?’” “First base,’” she said. “You’re already there.’” “I’m not running the bases.’” “Well, you could at least steal second.’” “Jeez, Claire. I used to distract myself with sports stats at times like these, but now you’ve gone and ruined it.”
― The Dead Girls' Dance
― The Dead Girls' Dance
“Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much."
"Dick. That's not what you said last night."
"Bite me.”
― Glass Houses
"Dick. That's not what you said last night."
"Bite me.”
― Glass Houses
“Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy. ”
― The Dead Girls' Dance
― The Dead Girls' Dance
“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"
"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.”
― Feast of Fools
"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?"
"No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking.”
― Feast of Fools
“Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. "Glad to see you, too," she whispered, and pressed her cheek against the smooth surface. It almost felt like it hugged her back.
"Dude, it's a house," Shane said from behind her. "Hug somebody who cares.”
― Lord of Misrule
"Dude, it's a house," Shane said from behind her. "Hug somebody who cares.”
― Lord of Misrule
“But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"
Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?”
― Midnight Alley
Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?”
― Midnight Alley
“You. O Positive. How many exits?"
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?”
― The Dead Girls' Dance
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?”
― The Dead Girls' Dance
“Can I come back and see you sometime?"
"Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and smiled. "I'm partial to chocolate."
"Gramma, you're diabetic."
"I'm old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.”
― The Dead Girls' Dance
"Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and smiled. "I'm partial to chocolate."
"Gramma, you're diabetic."
"I'm old, girl. Gonna die of something. Might as well be chocolate.”
― The Dead Girls' Dance
“Goodness,' Myrnin said quietly. 'I don't think I should be watching this. I don't think I'm old enough.”
― Fade Out
― Fade Out
“Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know."
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean.”
― Lord of Misrule
"And I could rent out your room."
"And I could put your game console on eBay."
"Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean.”
― Lord of Misrule
“Eve: She told me last!
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!”
― Midnight Alley
Shane: Boyfriend!
Michael: Landlord!
Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact!”
― Midnight Alley
“Hell,' Shane spit in disgust. 'I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her.' He tossed her the bat.”
― Glass Houses
― Glass Houses
“No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first.”
― Lord of Misrule
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first.”
― Lord of Misrule
“Another thing I don't want on my tombstone," Shane said.
You have others?" Claire asked.
He held up one finger. "I thought it wasn't loaded," Shane said. Second finger. "Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank." Third finger. "Killed over ice cream. Basically, any death that requires me to be stupid first.”
― Kiss of Death
You have others?" Claire asked.
He held up one finger. "I thought it wasn't loaded," Shane said. Second finger. "Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank." Third finger. "Killed over ice cream. Basically, any death that requires me to be stupid first.”
― Kiss of Death
“Shane looked down at the staked vamp at his feet. 'Claire?'
'Yes?'
'You staked a vampire with a number two pencil.'
'I didn’t actually check the number.'
'Have I told you lately how freaking awesome you are?'
She tried to smile, but her heart was fluttering in her chest now, and not in a good way. 'Compliments later. We really need to get out of here and get to the car. Any ideas?'
'Find another pencil and I’ll pin this one down, too,' Michael said.
'You know how weird that sounds, right?' Shane said. 'Right, never mind. Number two pencil, coming up. Why do I feel like we’re taking a test?”
― Kiss of Death
'Yes?'
'You staked a vampire with a number two pencil.'
'I didn’t actually check the number.'
'Have I told you lately how freaking awesome you are?'
She tried to smile, but her heart was fluttering in her chest now, and not in a good way. 'Compliments later. We really need to get out of here and get to the car. Any ideas?'
'Find another pencil and I’ll pin this one down, too,' Michael said.
'You know how weird that sounds, right?' Shane said. 'Right, never mind. Number two pencil, coming up. Why do I feel like we’re taking a test?”
― Kiss of Death
“That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know."
"Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind."
"I so wish you hadn't said that.”
― Feast of Fools
"Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind."
"I so wish you hadn't said that.”
― Feast of Fools
“If you ask me if I'm okay again, I'm going to smack myself in the face just to punish you.”
― Midnight Alley
― Midnight Alley
“You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor."
"But you're a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer."
"Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?”
― Glass Houses
"But you're a minor," she pointed out. "At least for beer."
"Yeah, and by the way, how much does it suck that I'm an adult if I kill somebody, and I'm not if I want a beer?”
― Glass Houses
“You shouldn't be afraid of me because I'm a vampire. You ought to be scared because you just trash-talked my girlfriend to her face.--Michael”
― Midnight Alley
― Midnight Alley
“My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.”
― Kiss of Death
― Kiss of Death
“I don’t see a way in,” Eve whispered.
Why are you whispering?” Myrnin whispered back. “Vampires can hear us, anyway.”
― Fade Out
Why are you whispering?” Myrnin whispered back. “Vampires can hear us, anyway.”
― Fade Out
“Oliver: You turned me down. So why, I wonder, did you decide Amelie would be a better choice?
Claire: She smells better. And she made me cookies.”
― Midnight Alley
Claire: She smells better. And she made me cookies.”
― Midnight Alley
“You're kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn't that the international language for smart people?"-Shane (Glass Houses)”
― Glass Houses
― Glass Houses
“What about Myrnin?'
Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. She beamed at him. 'Myrnin? Oh yeah. He did a Batman and took off into the night. What is with that guy, Claire? If he was a superhero, he'd be Bipolar Man.”
― Lord of Misrule
Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. She beamed at him. 'Myrnin? Oh yeah. He did a Batman and took off into the night. What is with that guy, Claire? If he was a superhero, he'd be Bipolar Man.”
― Lord of Misrule
“Okay, this was kissing. Serious kissing. Not just a kiss before moving out, not a good-bye, this was Hello, sexy, and wow, she’d never even suspected that it could feel this way.”
― Glass Houses
― Glass Houses
“Hannah leaned against the wall. 'Mind if I call shotgun?'
'Since you're carrying one? Feel free.”
― Lord of Misrule
'Since you're carrying one? Feel free.”
― Lord of Misrule




