April Daniels > Quotes

“I see a world that is terrified of me. Terrified of someone who would reject manhood. Terrified of a girl who knows who she is and what she’s capable of. They are small, and they are weak, and they will not hurt me ever again. My name is Danielle Tozer. I am a girl. No one is strong enough to take that from me anymore.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“You think it’s a uterus that makes a woman? Bullshit. You feel like you’re a girl, you live it, it’s part of you? Then you’re a girl. That’s the end of it, no quibbling. You’re as real a girl as anyone.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“So much time lost, so much of my childhood gone, because nobody every asked the right questions.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“So all those great responsibilities that come with great power, those are only yours if you want them to be. It’s not fair to demand more of you, and worse, it’s not safe. This is a hard life. Someone as strong as you, if suffering from mental and emotional trauma, could quickly become dangerous. So a lot of people are going to want you to be a whitecape, but only you can decide if that’s right for you.” “Maybe”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“Conjugation in French is a special kind of horror, on par with the sort of things you’d need to do to call up the Old Ones when the stars are right.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“But I don’t get to fit. Not anywhere.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“Maybe it's because your mother is always Mom to you, or maybe it's because I was in denial, but finally it hits me: Mom is just as much his captive as I am. She's not just the quieter parent, the more reasonable one. She's the trustee trapped between the warden and the other prisoner.

Immediately upon the heels of this understanding is another: I must not say this out loud. To say it out loud is to name it, and to name it is to give it irresistible power. That power will mean it can no longer be ignored. The polite fictions and convenient blind spots won't work anymore. Something will have to change.

And I know, with a certainty that fills me with dread, this is something she will not do. If I say the name of this thing he's done to her, she will fight me. She will join him, because she'll have to. Because she'll have to destroy me or else admit I was right.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“The shelter of boyhood ended, and they called me a young man. For no reason at all, they looked at the things that felt right to me, and they took them. Even down to the way I carry my books and cross my legs. They took it. They took everything. Puberty came, and my body turned on me, too. Watching every part of myself I liked rot away one day at a time, the horrified impostor staring back at me. Watching the other girls, the ones they let be girls, head in the other direction. Every day, torn away further from myself, chained down tighter. Suffocated. Strangled. They’ll”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“The dirty little secret about growing up as a boy is if you’re not any good at it, they will torture you daily until you have the good graces to kill yourself.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“Is she brave enough to say that for the first time since puberty started, she doesn't daydream about being dead? That she's wonderfully, terribly, gloriously alive? That the world is so beautiful it hurts?”
― April Daniels

“There’s too much self loathing bottled up inside me; it gets in the way, keeps me from seeing myself and what I really want.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“I see a world that is terrified of me. Terrified of someone who would reject manhood. Terrified of a girl who knows who she is and what she’s capable of. They are small, and they are weak, and they will not hurt me ever again.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“There’s a brief, fiery moment where I want to throw it back in her face and spit on her, but the look on her face punctures my spite.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“The lie is suffocating. Every time I have to play along, I feel like I'm betraying myself. Sometimes when I see myself in a mirror, I get a little splash of fear sluicing down my spine.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“That’s it? She just wants to be a computer program?” “No,” says Doc Impossible. “She wants to rule the world. This is a means to an end. As self-aware, self-editing malignant stream of code injected into the internet, she could take control of everything from online banking to nuclear launch codes. She could store a thousand copies of herself in darknet servers all over the world, and become impossible to kill.” “Oh,” I say. “I vote no,” Sarah says.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“Her voice is soft and kind. "Danny, do you feel safe at home?"

No.

There it is. I don't feel safe at home. I open my mouth to say something, and as I do I realize that like my other, I can't give it a name. Not out loud. Not even to Valkyrja. Because if I admit it, if I call it what it is, then I can't hide from it anymore either. It becomes real in a way I am not ready for. Might never be ready for. Ther will be no illusions of safety, no peaceful times alone in my room.

There will only be times when he's not hurting me.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“They touch a finger to the painted stencil on their armor’s chest piece and find it dry enough to peel off. Big yellow block letters read EAT THE RICH.”
― April Daniels, Sovereign

“He bites down on a further explosion, but Doc is already rolling with her counter-attack: "I am done letting you use my rape against me, you oversized hunk of shit!”
― April Daniels, Sovereign

“Every time something big happens, the cops set up shop like they’re planning to stay there for weeks, and then a few dozen of them just stand around doing nothing until the crisis is over. Your tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen.”
― April Daniels, Sovereign

“A new day is born in gleaming fire, rippling pools of light racing in from the horizon. It is one of the most breathtaking sights you can see. And we miss every second of it.

We only have eyes for each other.”
― April Daniels

“So they spit on me. They're embarrassed by me. They hate me.
FOR A MISTAKE THAT THEY MADE.”
― April Daniels

“The dirty little secret about growing up as a boy is if you’re not any good at it, they will torture you daily until you have the good graces to kill yourself. The posturing and the dominance games are almost inescapable. It’s hard to walk from one end of school to the other without getting shoulder-checked in the halls. Locker rooms are a forgotten circle of Hell. God forbid anyone ever catch you sketching flowers in class, or reading a book that’s “for girls.” Maybe for people who really are boys, that stuff works. Maybe it fits for them.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“Garrison’s personal crusade seems like another rich dude’s fantasy of remaking the world so that it will kiss his ass just that much more, and I cannot scrounge up even half a shit to give about this.”
― April Daniels, Sovereign

“Fascists are a populist movement, deeply wrapped up in racism and misogyny and other forms of bigotry—essentially, it’s about hating anyone who’s different and enforcing a right-wing style of conformity on everyone.”
― April Daniels, Sovereign

“The dirty little secret about growing up as a boy is if you're not any good at it, they will torture you daily until you have the good grace to kill yourself.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“I’m a girl, and I always have been. The difference is now you can see it.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“I guess I just thought that I was finally a real girl."

"Hey! None of that!" She takes me by the shoulders. "You think it's a uterus that makes a woman? Bullshit. You feel like you're a girl, you live it, it's part of you? Then you're a girl. That's the end of it, no quibbling. You're as real a girl as anyone.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“Valkyrja sets her hand on mine. “Go with her, Danny.” Awkwardly, because of course I’m awkward all of a sudden, I scoot my stool back. Doc Impossible follows, and oh God, I actually turn around and wave at Valkyrja like I’m leaving the building and please somebody kill me now.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“You'd attack one of your own? For a FLAT? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"What the hell is a flat?"
"You must be new. Flats are Them. The baseline."
"That is the most boring slur I have ever heard.”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought

“The dirty little secret about growing up as a boy is if you’re not any good at it, they will torture you daily until you have the good graces to kill yourself”
― April Daniels, Dreadnought