Mort Sahl > Quotes

“Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.”
― Mort Sahl

“My life needs editing. ”
― Mort Sahl

“That feeling of hopelessness only serves your masters.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.”
― Mort Sahl

“If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.”
― Mort Sahl

“You haven't lived until you've died in California”
― Mort Sahl

“We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man”
― Mort Sahl

“People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.”
― Mort Sahl

“We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on. *1958”
― Mort Sahl

“Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.”
― Mort Sahl

“The bravest thing that men do is love women.”
― Mort Sahl

“You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.”
― Mort Sahl

“I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“I found people looked better when they laughed”
― Mort Sahl

“Mort Sahl, while attending a preview of Otto Preminger's film Exodus, stood up and called out, "Otto, let my people go!”
― Mort Sahl

“I don't believe in good people and bad people. I believe in the better parts of people.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“I don't think fascism is dying for.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“I took a course at Cal once called Statistical Analysis. And there was a guy in the course who used to make up all of his computations and he never used Sigma. He used his own initials. 'Cause he was the standard deviation.”
― Mort Sahl

“One reason to keep going is that the country was given to us as a sacred charge. It is, as Stephen Vincent Benet says in 'the Devil and Daniel Webster,' not the only place that created free man- but... Read More its a place that demands that we decide what to do with out freedom. You can only punish yourself, That's the existential view. I don't think there's any reward beyond participating, beyond being here. And the antithesis of reward is punishment, and the only punishment that can come is self-inflicted. I remain optimistic. Whether or not the optimism is justified, I don't know. I want to stay around for the third act.”
― Mort Sahl, Heartland

“Comedians have to challenge the power. Comedians should be dangerous and devastating - and funny. That's the hardest part.”
― Mort Sahl

“Everything I say is actual, not factual”
― Mort Sahl