Kayley Loring > Quotes

“I’ll keep pretending that it’s my brother’s wedding that I need Maddie for and not every damn thing that makes my life worth living.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“Are you seriously for real right now? You want your family to think that I’m your girlfriend?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to lie to your family?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I promised my mother that I would attend these events, and she is under the impression that I have a girlfriend.”
“Why would she have that impression?”
“Because I told her I have a girlfriend.”
“And you don’t have a girlfriend?”
“What do you think?”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“I don’t want to lose her as an assistant, and I don’t want to lose her as a girlfriend. I want all of it to be real, and I want all of it to last”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“Tell me you want me.” The way he says it, it’s an order, and for once, I am loving this bossy tone.
“I want you, Declan.” He loosens his grip so I can lean in and take his earlobe between my teeth, tugging and then sucking on it, and then I whisper into his ear: “I want you to do and say every filthy thing you’ve ever wanted to do and say to me.” The deep, guttural sound he makes is so satisfying. “And I’m going to do the same. To you.”
His hands are on my hips now. “Fucking hell, I’m going to split you in two.”
My hand slips to the glorious bulge in his pants. “Fuckin’ A. I’m going to ride you like a one-horse open sleigh.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“When discussing nonwork relationships with women, I find it best to be up-front about things. It would be foolish to deny the fact that we’re both attractive, single individuals. In legal terms, we are what’s known as hot as fuck.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“You just have to stop what you’re doing to marvel at the natural beauty and remember that it’s not your problems and To-Do lists that define you. It’s the things that take your breath away and give your life back to you by nudging you off track.”
― Kayley Loring, Sleeper

“Fate brought you to me. It’s my desire and duty to never let you go.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Vegas St. Patrick's Day

“Baby, I would rather let you break my heart every day of my life than live without you.”
― Kayley Loring, Rebound With Me

“This woman will be the end of me, but she should be the beginning.”
― Kayley Loring, Good Vibrations

“Pretend he’s a corporate ladder and climb him like a lady boss!!!”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“I raise the coffee mug to sniff it. “What is this?” “A steaming hot cup of the tears of your former assistants.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“This woman is not just the one at the end of the line and the end of the road, she is the beginning of everything that really matters.”
― Kayley Loring, Charmer

“I come for her. I come for me. I come for the man I want to be for her and the us that I always saw us becoming”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“Don’t let him in yet!” my aunt shrieks. “It smells like roast chicken farts in here! Open a window! Open all of the windows!”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“Are you okay?” So quiet and earnest. She’s adjusting the board instead of looking at me, so I’m not even sure if she’s talking to me. Then she turns to face me. “Are you?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You just seem sad.”
Who is this person? I’m not acting sad. I’m acting like a witty stud.”
― Kayley Loring, Good Vibrations

“It’s not like I come in here every night. That would be lame. I just think about coming here every night. I think about Kat.
This isn’t me.
It’s not good.
It’s not cool.
But hey, I’ve filled three notebooks with lyrics that vary from shitty to decent and recorded a dozen demos of songs that are basically about having a non-stop boner, so there’s that.”
― Kayley Loring, Charmer

“I miss you.
I will always, always miss you.
I was missing you long before I knew who you were.”
― Kayley Loring, Attachment Theory

“Her brown hair is so shiny; I believe her shampoo is made from the semen of demonic stallions.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Bossy Christmas

“He’s not a pretty boy. Is he?” Nico’s about thirty feet away, and for once I’m grateful that the jukebox music from the house speakers is just a little too loud. But I lower my voice anyway. “I mean, he’s pretty and he’s a boy, but he’s not a pretty boy.”
“Please. I bet his semen is sparkly and it sings Beatles love songs while shooting out of his perfect penis.”
― Kayley Loring, Charmer

“I’m still here for you. You are not forgotten. We’re gonna be okay. I will see you again.”
― Kayley Loring, Rebound With Me

“She shakes her head, forcing her red lips to frown at me while giving me a dismissive ‘I can’t with you right now’ wave and turns her attention back to her other customers.
You can with me, Kat. You will. I don’t get why you haven’t yet, but you can, and you will.”
― Kayley Loring, Charmer

“He could have said Let’s go to hell—it’s warm there, right? And I would have just stared at his butt and said, Yeah. Let’s do that.”
― Kayley Loring, Rebound With Me

“To every dog I’ve ever fallen in love with at first sight… Just because you live with some other human, that doesn’t mean we aren’t soulmates.”
― Kayley Loring, There Is Also a Dog

“I may have fallen for her fast and hard, but I’m still falling for her, slow and deep and wide and more and I don’t ever want it to end.”
― Kayley Loring, Charmer

“She’s your daughter?”
“She is the light of my life, yes. And you are the murderer of her dreams.”
― Kayley Loring, Good Vibrations

“Thankfully the song that’s now playing is some cheesy Beyoncé ballad that we don’t have to dance to—and you could not pay me enough to dance to this song. Ever. “Oh, I love this song!” she exclaims, turning to me. Her eyes are all lit up. “Can we slow-dance to this?!” “Okay!” Fuck.”
― Kayley Loring, Rebound With Me

“I crossed the event horizon. There’s no going back. I’m being sucked in by her immense gravitational pull.”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” he says.” This is a black hole metaphor, and if you use the word hole while informing me that you’re taking my sister out on a date, I will never speak to you again.”
― Kayley Loring, Sexy Nerd: Revised Edition

“He kissed the way he played. With a fierce kind of grace and a controlled kind of power. But there was some dark, animalistic energy beneath the surface that he had trained himself to discipline. Like the wolf he had tattooed on his arm. And the most honest thing I could admit to myself right then was that I had that energy too. I had disciplined it with spreadsheets and denial, and he was the first person I’d met who could bring it out of me.”
― Kayley Loring, Decker: Changing the Play

“I don’t want to break up with you. I want to be with you, and I want to think about you without thinking about when this will end, and I want to love you without limits … I don’t want to stop falling in love with you. I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
― Kayley Loring, Duke: Faking the Play

“The sound of the juvenile delinquents’ laughter echoes across the harbor. And they can all kiss my beautiful millennial ass.”
― Kayley Loring, A Very Grumpy Father's Day