Ellen Wittlinger > Quotes

“People changed lots of other personal things all the time. They dyed their hair and dieted themselves to near death. They took steroids to build muscles and got breast implants and nose jobs so they'd resemble their favorite movie stars. They changed names and majors and jobs and husbands and wives. They changed religions and political parties. They moved across the country or the world — even changed nationalities. Why was gender the one sacred thing we weren’t supposed to change? Who made that rule?”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“I watched her walk away, first thinking: good riddance – who needs this abuse? And then after a minute thinking: she never really understood me anyway. Which rapidly changed to: I never understood her at all. And before long I was watching her small back disappear and thinking: there goes the only person who ever gave a damn about me.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Hard Love

“It's a lie, you know, to pretend that nothing is important to you. It's hiding. Believe me, I know because I hid for a long time. But now I won't do it anymore. The truth is bioluminescent. I don't lie, and I don't waste time on people who do.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Hard Love

“you give everyone the benefit of the doubt. they don't always deserve it. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“I trust the red sun setting,

the leafless November trees.

On Monday morning I look foward

fearlessly to Friday’s eve.

But humans are not as reliable

as nature, as trees.

I wonder if you’ll come back;

I trust only that you leave.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Hard Love

“That's what I love about writing. Once you get the words down on paper, in print, they start to make sense. It's like you don't know what you think until it dribbles from your brain down your arm and into your hand and out through your fingers and shows up on the computer screen, and you read it and realize: That's really true; I believe that.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Hard Love

“when there's an elephant in the room, you can't pretend it isn't there and just discuss the ants. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“When people say they love you, you just have to decide to believe them, because you'll never know for sure.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Zigzag

“i was in love with the sound of the slamming door, it sounded the way i felt, like damn you to hell! and i hate what you're doing to me! and Life sucks. ”
― ellen wittlinger

“well, it sounds strange, but when i think of God, i think of a soft whirring noise - like a spinning ball of energy - something i can tap into when i need it. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“nobody is like anybody else. that's why nobody gets along with anybody else. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“i want to look at all my tears, she said. which made me shiver”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“the whole idea of boys being people you would actually choose to spend time with was pretty much totally incomprehensible to me. i could never think of anything to say to them, and they seemed equally dumbstruck by my presence. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“sometimes people think they're above the laws the rest of us live by. they're blind to their own imperfections. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“...and she said we all had to find God inside ourselves, in the things we loved most. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“It seems obvious to me that the more queer books there are in the wolrd, the more queer kids we reach with the message that they are not alone, the fewer LGBT kids become one of these grim statistics.”
― Ellen Wittlinger

“what's normal, she said. adults are all just weird in different ways. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“i believe in anything it would be nature - trees, clouds, rain - the life cycles that begin and end, season after season. that makes sense to me - nature as God. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“When I decided I was a boy, I realized that if I wanted to pass, I'd have to learn to walk differently, talk differently, dress differently, basically act differently than I did as a girl. But why did we need to act at all?”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“well, you just have to make sure that you're his escape”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“bunny was a good soul and a strong believer but she would have been that way whether she went to church or not, wouldn't she. church doesn't make you a better person. ”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Blind Faith

“My name is Mike. Instantly forgettable. Unlike Heather. What a breathless little name that is.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Lombardo's Law: A Witty Coming-of-Age Story About First Love and Filmmaking for Kids

“I'm starting to think I'll probably never have a girlfriend, which would be okay too. On those few occasions when a girl has actually flirted with me, tipped her head sideways and laughed at some stupid remark, all it did was make me angry. It seemed like she was playing a game with idiotic rules. First you laugh, then you tell a pretty lie, then you stick your tongue in each other's mouths, then you say something really mean and hurtful to each other, then you go off to find somebody else who wants to play the game. This is an activity for intelligent people? I think not.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Hard Love

“But I knew the first question Mom asked Gail was, Is it a boy or a girl? Because, for some reason, that is the first thing everybody wants to know the minute you're born. Should we label it with pink or blue? Wouldn't want anyone to mistake the gender of an infant! What is that so important?”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“I guess I'd just been thinking about it for so long that I forgot changing your gender was not even a question for most people. They just took for granted being a boy or a girl. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be so sure of yourself.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“Did the women feel like I was deserting them by deciding to live as the other gender? Maybe for Dad and Charlie, it didn't seem strange to want to be male, since that's what they were. But Mom and Laura—and, of course, Eve—acted like I was betraying them somehow. Would I have to give them up if I wasn't a girl anymore? I hoped not. I hoped that changing my gender wouldn't mean losing my entire past.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Parrotfish

“Why does my name sound so pretty when he says it?" -Maisie”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Saturdays with Hitchcock

“I was only going to shoot you if he was in one band. And only if it had a name like Uncle Toejam's Acid Crematorium or something. But bluegrass is good, and hey, music is MY life too. Maybe I'll actually like the guy (assuming he's around long enough). Just don't write and tell me you're in the process of stirring up some baby Custard-Mustards.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Heart on My Sleeve

“That's the great thing about movies, Hitch. The end is the end; everything is resolved one way or the other. You feel joyful or peaceful or relieved, or sometimes disturbed or depressed. But if it's a good ending, it satisfies you, even if it's sad. The war is over, the guy gets the girl, whatever. Real life is a whole lot messier. It doesn't end when things are at a good stopping point.”
― Ellen Wittlinger, Saturdays with Hitchcock