Deborah Wilde > Quotes

“Even though his ass extended past the seat, it was so rock hard that it didn’t droop over the sides. I checked twice to make sure.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“Breathing is an addiction. But once you’ve stopped for an hour, it’s reasonably easy to quit forever.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“I was living in a CW teen soap as the sassy best friend without any foreseeable love interest in my storyline. It was time to get these two together already so I could star in my own spin-off.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter: Need

“We all sought affirmation. That’s why, as a species, we were such hypercritical assholes. We wanted proof we’d picked the right career or married the right person, even if said proof was of the at least we’re not them variety. We wanted our lives to tally in the positives column.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“It was so hard to make it in the arts, but crime was always a growth industry.”
― Deborah Wilde, Blood & Ash

“Nava Katz, you are complicated and infuriating and extraordinary, and everything I want. How could I not? You’re the spark that brought me back to life.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter: Fall

“Sports and musicals, the seventh level of Hell.” I gasped, hand to my heart. Ari facepalmed. “Now you’ve done it.” “Grease is the seminal cinematic exploration of teen culture,” I said. Kane grabbed a napkin. “No way. Cruel Intentions.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter: Need

“you make me the most myself I’ve ever been. The most complete as a person in my own right. You found me in the darkness and didn’t let me stay there. You pushed me to remake myself into someone better, someone who I am really proud of being. Being with you… it’s like living a tap dance all the time. I’m more awake and more alive and at my happiest. I know this seems like the worst moment to say it, but I never want you to wonder or doubt it. I love you, Rohan.” I spread my arms helplessly. “I’m yours.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter: Fall

“Mornings after sucked. Walks of shame were a necessary evil, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed shimmying back into the same trollop togs twice. I picked glitter out of my hair, then straightened my sequined top. I was officially decommissioning it. Multiple washings never quite managed to remove the lingering aura of bad decisions I made while wearing party clothes. My philosophy? Cross my fingers and hope for the most bang for the bucks spent later on new outfits.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“Learn to straddle the line between empathy and being pulled under, because these people needed you to swim, not sink.”
― Deborah Wilde, Death & Desire

“Taking my tree escape route, I dropped onto the ground with no attempt to be stealthy, since I wanted to be seen by whoever was on guard duty. The operative word being “seen.” Not tackled to the ground, hitting it with a hard whoosh as all my breath left me. Though that may have been for another reason as my body instinctively recognized the scent of iron and musk. “What have we here?” Rohan’s voice vibrated against me. I had to turn my head to answer or risk eating dirt. “Do you mean ‘we’ in the royal sense or are the voices in your head clamoring in unison?”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“Someone had written “When will the devil come for you?” on the wooden stall door. The way my magic encounters had been going, this wasn’t so much an existential question as one of scheduling.”
― Deborah Wilde, Throwing Shade

“What better way to lose that hangover headache than get drunk again? Oh, the joys of being Canadian with socialized health care and legal drinking age of nineteen. After a year (officially) honing that skill, I imbibed at an Olympic level. The red wine on the modular coffee table gleamed in a shaft of sunlight like its position had been ordained by the gods. I snatched up the crystal decanter, sloshing the liquid into the glass conveniently placed next to it. Once in a while, a girl could actually catch a break. I fanned myself with one hand. The myriad of lit candles seemed a bit much for Ari’s romantic encounter, but wine drinking trumped curiosity so I chugged the booze back. My entire body cheered as the cloyingly-sweet alcohol hit my system, though I hoped it wasn’t Manischewitz because hangovers on that were a bitch. I’d slugged back half the contents when I saw my mom on the far side of the room clutch her throat, eyes wide with horror. Not her usual, “you need an intervention” horror. No, her expression indicated I’d reached a whole new level of fuck-up. “Nava Liron Katz,” she gasped in full name outrage.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“What’s-his-name had started out with all the promise of a wild stallion gallop, but he’d ended up more of a gentle trot. I didn’t know if the fault lay with the jockey or the ride, but it had been a long time since I’d seen a finish line.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“My cheeks still bulging with wine, I properly scoped out the room. Mom? Check. Dad? Check. Ari? Check? Rabbi Abrams, here to perform the ceremony to induct my brother as the latest member in the Brotherhood of David, the chosen demon hunters? Check. I spit the wine back into what I now realized was a silver chalice and handed it to the elderly bearded rabbi. “Carry on,” I told him. Then I threw up on his shoes.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“Annoying as he was, I tried to see this from his perspective.”
― Deborah Wilde, Shadows & Surrender

“The waitress arrived with Leo’s Coke and my water, asking for our orders– pulled pork poutine for me because, bad Jew, and a mushroom burger that I know Leo got so that I wouldn’t want a bite. Fungus was a medical condition to clear up with ointment, not food.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“An icy slither ran up my core as I stared at my right hand, its tremors Richter scale violent. Was this my demon-killing ability? Destined to be some supernatural whore luring hell spawn into back alleys for deadly rub and tugs?”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“I was a moth to his flame. And that always worked out so well for the moth.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter: Need

“A house divided could stand, and in fact had been doing so for time immemorial. Families had been tolerating differences while still standing strong forever. Any parent of a teenager learned this. Relationships weren’t based on total agreement. They required respect and empathy. What mattered most was not seeing eye to eye but seeing each other clearly.”
― Deborah Wilde, A Shade Too Far

“Safety or sanity. Is that really my choice here? Because I gotta tell you, Snowflake, it sucks.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection

“In that lime-green mini and those crazy glasses, she was five feet eight inches of giving zero fucks.”
― Deborah Wilde, Throwing Shade

“Murder hadn’t been on my list for the day, but I’d been extraordinarily productive this morning, so I was willing to pencil it in.”
― Deborah Wilde, Throwing Shade

“Keep your blood-sucking fiends with melanin issues; my fictional love was and always would be Holmes. Reason, intelligence, deduction.”
― Deborah Wilde, Blood & Ash

“Hard to say what had been the highlight of that little disaster: drinking the ceremonial wine, vomiting, or the wardrobe malfunction that had released my left boob into the world and caused my dad to strain his back jumping in front of me to block the view. Go me.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“Yes. As well as the many good works I do.” He arched his eyebrow, miming giving a hand job. “Are you ever going to let that go?” He took another bite. “Not when there are still hours of fun to be had from it. You know you don’t have to jerk the demons off to kill them, right?” “It was one time.” He slapped the table. “Knew it! Baruch owes me twenty.” I groaned at the fact that I’d just confirmed his suspicions. “Don’t feel bad,” he said with a smirk, “I puzzled it out when reaching for the curupira’s dick was your first move.” “I couldn’t not reach for Mount Phallus. He was hung like a horse.” He held up his hands. “If that’s your kink, then hey, no judgment.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter

“Ultimately, I'd rather be the one slaying monsters than the one not knowing to look under the bed.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter: Crave

“shudders. I dropped down beside him, holding him tightly because I recognized that grief. It was a sorrow so deep that it carved a canyon in your soul, and while it seemed like it existed only for this wave of emotion to batter against, one day his life would expand around that sadness, and as much as it would always hurt, it wouldn’t make up the entirety of his reality. Like it had for me and it had for him before, eventually, he’d be able to sit at its edge without wanting to hurl himself off.”
― Deborah Wilde, Ace of Shades

“Folding and organizing were for saps. I preferred hunting and rooting, the thrill of the never-ending treasure hunt for my personal belongings.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter Collection, Box Set 1

“No kissing.” That activity had been kiboshed over a year ago after a spectacularly disappointing session with one Elvis Persig. His fishy-lipped nibbling of my face had felt too much like the time I’d stuck my feet in one of those tanks for squirming, toothless carp to eat my dead skin. Except without the exfoliating benefit.”
― Deborah Wilde, The Unlikeable Demon Hunter