James Acaster > Quotes

“I was never one of those student who thought it was great to see their teaches outside of school, in their normal clothes, living their normal life like a normal person. I actually preferred to keep them as they were: smartly dressed and in charge, maybe even as role models. What I definitely did not want to do was see them getting smashed in Derby town center, smiling at women, and then getting pissy when the women didn't smile back, reminding me that none of the adults in my life really know what they're doing and that I too will never really figure anything out.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Classic Scrapes

“If you don't believe that horoscopes are true, then you're usually of the opinion that the writer has chosen some vague universal truths about people so anyone who reads it will be able to relate in some respect, and I quite like that every human being has these vague truths in common. We all doubt ourselves sometimes, we all experience change, and we all have people who mean a lot to us who we don't see enough. Horoscopes, even if we believe them to be lies, prove that we're all connected and I like that.”
― James Acaster, Perfect Sound Whatever

“If you haven't been to watch live wrestling before you owe it to yourself to go. And if you already go and watch live wrestling, why are you not doing it more often? Yes it's scripted but so is 'The West Wing' and that's why it's amazing.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Classic Scrapes

“Started making it. Had a breakdown. Bon Appetite.”
― James Acaster

“I knew I had a problem when I found myself saying, to my reflection, in my laptop screen, 'What has two gigantic thumbs and needs to quit social media?' 'This guy'... before bursting into laughter, then tears, then song: the main three things a human can burst into. The fourth being flames. Also the song was the British National Anthem and I don't know why.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

“Failure cannot be understood in theory, only in practice, sometimes over and over and over again.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Classic Scrapes

“bursting into laughter, then tears, then song – the main three things a human being can burst into, the fourth being flames.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

“Even without a profile, searching your name on twitter is extremely common, especially if you're a celebrity, as I am and will be until the day I die. I shamefully admit that after quitting twitter, I used to search 'James Acaster' numerous times throughout the day. Don't get me wrong, the very act of searching 'James Acaster' isn't anything to be ashamed of. Most people search those very words during their lifetime. In fact, it's one of the most popular web searches out there. It only adopts a tinge of sadness when the person searching 'James Acaster' is James Acaster himself and as James Acaster, that's the position I found myself in.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

“Having a conversation with a drunk person when you are sober is like being a classroom assistant in a primary school for kids who are drunk.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Classic Scrapes

“Turns out cancelling only counts if the person accepts the cancelling. If they choose to ignore it and carry on as normal, there is absolutely nothing the people who tried to cancel them can do about it.”
― James Acaster, James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media

“I’ve been through about five Classics over the years and even have an iPod Guy who can hook me up with some high-quality mint condition 160GB ’pods any time I need them. My iPod Guy is a man named Michael Burdett.”
― James Acaster, Perfect Sound Whatever