Kyle Robert Shultz > Quotes

“Time is precious, no matter how much of it you've been given.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Janus Elixir

“At least, that’s what I thought until she picked up a buttered roll and flung it at a nearby woman’s hat.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Beast of Talesend

“That was horrible.” “That was a fairy tale,” said the wraith. “Fairy tales are horrible.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Beast of Talesend

“She was stunning, but fortunately, as a hardened and experienced detective, I was impervious to this. More or less.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Beast of Talesend

“No!” She shuddered. “Wrong button. Why do we even have that button? There. The red one.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Return of Beaumont and Beasley

“Getting eaten by evil pumpkins was very low on my list of preferred ways to die.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Stroke of Eleven

“So, let me get this straight,” said Julio, as the wulvers herded us along a moonlit path leading farther into the hills. “You are a centaur—” “Part-time,” I clarified. “—and you have a werewolf sister.” “Wulver. And yes. We took different paths in life.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Horseman

“Julio started applauding, until he realized that nobody else was. He blushed slightly and dropped his hands.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Horseman

“potential slave. Swear fealty to me through much scratching of the ears, and I shall reward you. I shall slay legions of vermin in your name and deliver the corpses to your doorstep.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Horseman

“Patrick looked at me, and his face lit up. “Oh, brilliant! It’s a—well, we’ve wanted one of those for years, haven’t we, it’s—I think the scientific name’s something beginning with ‘q,’ but—obviously, it’s—” He stared blankly at Yrsa. “What is it, then, some new kind of monkey?”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Return of Beaumont and Beasley

“Todd, I hesitate to bring this up, but you’re not wearing any pants right now.” “Don’t go there.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Horseman

“Fascist!” shouted Molly. “Technically, I think she’s being a socialist,” said Crispin.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Stroke of Eleven

“I am sure they could use a dragon right now."
"That means nothing!" Julio scoffed. "Everyone could always use a dragon! Dragons are never not useful!”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Deadwood

“But that is not to say that I fled from such times and pretended they never happened. I learned from them, without letting them bring my life to a standstill, and then I moved on, not allowing myself to go over and over them again." [Julio] patted me on the back. "This is how we become better men, yes? Not perfect—never perfect—but, hopefully, better. We do our best, and we live our lives.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Run

“I suppose the whole horrid affair began with my aunt. Horrid affairs, in my experience, often do begin with aunts. They are a familial office that should, in my opinion, be kept in check - either through some stern law or a series of robust magic spells.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Hound of Duville and Other Stories

“Er… what are you, then? I don’t mean to insult you, but I’m hoping you’re not actually a troll or something.” “No! Nothing like that. I’m just a commoner.” “Oh!” Matteo breathed a sigh of relief. “I knew that already.” “What? You did?” “Of course. I’m not an idiot. You used all the wrong forks at dinner, and you didn’t recognize Lady Postlethwaite.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Stroke of Eleven

“I would look into it further, if only I were not dying. Very inconvenient thing, death.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, Deadwood

“Yesterday, I was a respectable private detective who didn’t believe in magic. Tonight, I’m a hairy gargoyle leaping across the rooftops of Talesend with a magical girl on my back. No matter what happens next—even if I do manage to become human again—my life is never going to be the same.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Beast of Talesend

“Because we've lived too long, and seen too much, and done too much. Memories get foggy as the centuries go by, so I can't say for sure whether there's been more bad than good. But the darkness certainly stands out in one's mind. Keeping a silly-looking little not-quite-dragon alive and making him happy? I'd say that's the equivalent of punching darkness in the nose.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Dragon Delusion: A Blackfire and Beasley Story

“It’s been entertaining to watch you three,” he said. “The skeptic, the failure, and the fool.”
“Oi!” Crispin interjected. “Nobody calls my brother a fool!”
My eyes rolled heavenwards. “He meant you. I’m the skeptic.”
Crispin blinked. “Oh.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Beast of Talesend

“You know what - I'm going to give in and do the stupid thing." He cast a glare in our direction. "But not because I'm experiencing a sudden rush of heroism. Only because with you lot around, it's just a matter of time before the world goes to blazes in a handbasket anyway." He yawned and stretched. "I might as well join and have some fun instead of standing back and waiting for the end.”
― Kyle Robert Shultz, The Stroke of Eleven