Allison Raskin > Quotes

“You are so brave and so strong that sometimes I forget someone like me can hurt you. But you need to remember that you can hurt me too.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“I can already tell that I will hate everyone but you.

Sincerely,
Ava Helmer

(that brunette who won't leave you alone)”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“I am extraordinarily proud of you and can't wait for the entire city of Boston to both love and fear you. Just remember that NO ONE will ever love (or fear) you like I do.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“Because facts are information we can learn from to adjust or inform our behavior in the future. Thoughts, on the other hand, hold the same weight as dreams. They’re in our brain, so they seem real, but they’re not. They’re quite literally figments of our imagination.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“So the next time someone abruptly ends things and it stings more than you’d expect, try to remember that losing the possibility of something can be just as painful as losing the actual thing.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“ALREADY I HAVE GIVEN MORE PRACTICAL ADVICE THAN MY CURRENT THERAPIST WHO IS ACTUALLY LICENSED. HOW DOES ANYONE HAVE A JOB?”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“Do you think he has met Putin? Do you think anyone has really met Putin? Is he the kind of guy you can really know?”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“I hate that I am my worst self around the two people who are the nicest to me. I’m unable to keep my barriers up when I’m around my parents, so all the ugly comes out. Even when I’m mad, I can feel the guilt spreading through my body, but the mad overrides it.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“If you have an open wound, someone only needs to flick you for the pain to be excruciating. It doesn’t mean they are stronger than anyone else or they are your one true love. I know this conflicts with a lot of movies and books that glorify pain, but try to trust me. Love doesn’t have to be hard,
despite what your societally influenced brain tells you.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“You deserve to be with someone who respects you enough to also respect your distress, even if they don’t understand it.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“Everyone always talks about the effort you have to put into a romantic relationship or a marriage, but why would a friendship be any different? You are always going to be more important to me than some random boy I marry. (At least until the silver wedding anniversary.)”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“You wore Doc Martens and purple hair. I wore my insecurity on a button-up. it wasn't meant to be.

But then the unthinkable happened. I made you laugh. I can't remember the exact joke, which is surprising given my tendency to endlessly quote myself, but I know we were in English Class and I know it had something to do with Voltaire.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“The longest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. You want to make sure it is one full of love, respect, and compassion.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“For many of my clients, they know something is off when they meet a person who they genuinely like and can see a future with, but their brain begins sending warning signals as if there is a major threat. They start wondering hundreds of times a day, But do I really like them? Are they really attractive enough to
me? This dissonance is a dead giveaway that there could be some anxiety at play. It’s not that
you have to like every person who is good for you, but generally a good person doesn’t make a neurotypical brain fire off in quite this way.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“A lot of times a new relationship might feel less exciting simply because it’s healthy! There isn’t the agonizing push and pull you had with that jerk who didn’t want to commit but liked to Netflix and chill occasionally. You’re not experiencing a roller coaster of emotions every twelve hours for days on end. You’re not so confused about their intentions that you’re rereading every text conversation fifty times. So your OCD or anxiety tries to make sense of this big change and falsely decides, “You don’t like this new person enough.” When in reality, drama does not equal love. Oftentimes, it means the exact opposite.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“We don’t have the same worldview anymore. We don’t have the same emotional life. That’s why I don’t romanticize people from my past—chances are we aren’t even compatible anymore, if we ever were! Try to let the fact that you’ve grown be the closure you need from your past relationships.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“Your potential partner is an outstretched hand that can help bring you to shore. But you can only reach out and successfully grab this hand if you’re already almost on land. If you’re thirty feet out, your partner can’t help you, even if you both really want them to be able to. No one’s arms are that long, even if your partner is very good-looking and tall. You’ve got to get twenty-eight feet closer on your own (and/or with the help of mental health professionals/medication/psychoeducation/meditation/coping skills/mindfulness—you get it!). Only then can the help they are offering actually reach you and make a difference.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“I completely understand where our instilled belief that “true” love should be hard comes from. You don’t need to look any further than whatever program is currently on your TV. It makes for a better narrative when someone has to jump through fiery hoops and disown their family in order to be with their one and only. The problem is that these stories are always framed as romantic instead of unhealthy and/or traumatizing.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“I feel like unstable people gravitate toward you (myself included). I want nothing more than for you to make a connection with a normal, boring person who still has good taste in music.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“I cannot stress how much I love the idea of kindness being lubrication for tough situations. Whenever you’re struggling, in or out of the bedroom, reach for some lube, baby!”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“Logic and anxiety do not mix.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“I'm happy for you? I don't understand you, but I'm happy for you. Now go explore with people your own age.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“Everything that happened last night was incredibly cliché bordering on boring. If it was a scene in a movie, I would have talked shit about it for being uninspired and predictable.

But that’s part of what made it so special to me. It felt so . . . normal. I felt normal. Better than normal. Desired.”
― Allison Raskin, I Hate Everyone But You

“Every now and then you are going to get knocked over. You can’t avoid that. All you can do is work on improving your recovery time and your resilience so the next blow doesn’t hurt as much.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“Just like with ROCD, an easy way to see if your anxiety is valid or harmful is to examine the content of the anxiety. Is it based on something that is actually happening, or is it future-based? If it’s not based on the present, you’re simply fortune-telling and catastrophizing. In those cases, as Robin puts it, it’s important to remind your anxiety that “these are just stories you’re making up. You could believe them, but it’s going to cost you.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“I no longer judge a marriage by its longevity. I judge it by the role it fills in your life.”
― Allison Raskin, I Do (I Think): Conversations About Modern Marriage

“It’s human nature to feel like you are the main character of every story. You are with yourself 24/7! Your perspective of the world is filtered through how different experiences affect you. So when someone rejects you, it feels like that decision is completely tied up in who you are as a person.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“Let’s all agree to not hurt our partners for no real reason. We only need to share the content of our thoughts if something good can come from it.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“If my personal schema says I’m unlovable or unworthy of happiness, I will see everyone’s behavior through that lens. It won’t matter if someone actually does love me because my brain won’t allow me to process their affection correctly. That’s why self-awareness is so important.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression

“Practice how you want to say this to somebody. Choosing the right setting is important, too. Even choosing a time when both you and your partner are chilling out on a Sunday afternoon. A balanced time and place. It’s okay to feel nervous about it.”
― Allison Raskin, Overthinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression