Sidney Bell > Quotes

“If polar bears live at the North Pole, why doesn’t Santa use them to pull the sleigh?” Brogan asked, licking mustard off his thumb with the air of someone who thought they’d won the argument, which was dumb, because he never won. Embry was the uncontested champion of arguing in their house.
“Are you high?” Embry asked. “Have you seen a fucking polar bear? There’s no way they’re as aerodynamic as reindeer.”
“Polar bears make about as much sense as reindeer, seeing as neither of them can actually fly,” Brogan pointed out. “Polar bears are stronger, too. You’d only need half as many to get the job done.”
“Polar bears aren’t pack animals. You’d never get all of them attached to the sleigh at once.”
“Think how cool it would be, though. A whole troop of polar bears pulling a sleigh. There should be fire somewhere. A secondary propulsion system in case the bears get tired. Like a jet engine.” His eyes went wide with awe, presumably at his own genius. “There should be a jet engine, Embry.”
― Sidney bell, Bad Judgment

“A marriage is less about how many people are in it and more about how happy you are.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“It was amazing how deeply he’d fallen, and how fast. He couldn’t even be frightened of it. But then, it had always seemed stupid to him to feel fear after you stepped off the roof with only a cape around your neck. It was too late to do any good and it only ruined the trip down.”
― Sidney Bell, Bad Judgment

“I don’t know what I’m going to tell them is all,” Cal says. “The specific words to use to describe what we’re doing, I mean. How do I even phrase it?”

“You tell them the truth.” Zac lets his feet tell Cal that it’ll all be okay, even as Anya’s tell him the same. “We’re a family.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“Faith was meaningless if you only had it because your parents had brainwashed you into it.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“I’m not scared of anything.” “That makes you stupid, not brave,”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“She doesn’t expect people to let her get away with bad behavior, but there’s a difference between bad behavior and unladylike behavior, and while she doesn’t mind being called out for the first, anyone who has a problem with the second can choke on it.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“I didn’t make you take yours.” “I’m meaner than you,” Embry said. “That’s the God’s honest truth,” Brogan replied sourly,”
― Sidney Bell, Bad Judgment

“Being drunk doesn’t change the kind of person you are. If it did, everyone would get violent when they were drinking. Alcohol just makes it easier to do the shit you already wanted to do.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“Miller sighed. This was exactly the kind of thing that made him want to live in an igloo on a glacier. Even penguins seemed like too much company at a moment like this.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“If mean people such, nice people swallow.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“It’s all kink stuff,” Ghost said, as if Duncan were being deliberately naïve. “Wanting a lot of candles and eye contact is a kink. It’s just such a common one that we call it ‘normal’ so we have another way to beat other people up for being different. Everybody has a thing that gets them off better than anything else—only assholes give a shit if it’s poetry or furry costumes.”
― Sidney Bell, Rough Trade

“My outfit might be retro, but my thinking isn’t. Cross-dressing’s only a problem if you think being like a woman somehow makes a man less. And I’ve read far too much Vogue to fall for that bullshit, thanks.”
― Sidney Bell, Rough Trade

“What's that?" Zac asks suspiciously.

Cal looks at the bag in fake surprise, as if shocked by its presence. "I don't know. It's a mystery. We should check." He glances inside, frowns, and then says to Zac, "It looks like it's a bag full of none of your business.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“It occurred to him for the first time that gender rules in dating were stupid. Why did someone’s gender have anything to do with who bought food? Or picked out flowers? It wasn’t until both people on the date had the same equipment that it suddenly seemed stupid. Why should he always get to decide what he wanted to do while the other person had to follow along? He had a vague urge to call all his old girlfriends and apologize, though he wasn’t entirely sure why.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“Then, a handful of months after they decided to make a go of it together, Zac's relationship with his mother imploded and Zac showed up on Cal's porch at three in the morning.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," he said, trembling and red-eyed, his lashes damp and spiky. Cal gave him the couch and a key, already questioning whether the forced proximity would cause enough friction to kill the band before it really started. Instead, through some amorphous magic Cal hadn't known could exist in the world, they became irrevocably connected under the skin.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“They’ll murder us,” he told the pillowcase. “They won’t.” “They’ll use us to fuel the barbecues.” “They aren’t going to set anyone on fire.” “Clearly you know nothing about Catholics,” Miller snapped. “We love setting people on fire when we don’t approve of how they live their lives. It’s kind of our raison d’être.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“On the television, a woman was scrubbing her kitchen tile with her magical new mop. It had not only cleaned the tough-to-reach space behind the fridge, it had saved her marriage, listened to her deepest secrets and given her orgasms too.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“PJ doesn't care about his messy humanity; he loves Cal just as he is and sometimes, on the hardest mornings, that love is the main reason why the tequila goes down the drain.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“But once you were done, you felt better? Having said it. Uh, coming out? It was better after?”

Church bit his lower lip, his mobile face folding into an expression almost like a wince.

“You’re thinking about lying to me,” Miller said mildly, and Church dropped his eyes and laughed, a little shamefaced.

“Yeah, I was.”

“Don’t. Please?”

“It’s just that it never really ends. Coming out, I mean. Like, the first time you say it to someone, it feels huge, you know? It feels good too, like you’re committed. But it doesn’t only happen once. Every day, any time the subject comes up, any time a form asks for your wife’s name or someone in line making small talk asks if you’re waiting for your girlfriend or something, it’s there. You have to decide whether you’re gonna fix the assumption the other person made. So it’s better in some ways, Miller, but it’s never something you can put a check mark next to.”
― Sidney Bell, Loose Cannon

“Pick a movie, you bastard."

Cal smiles and politely pretends he's never seen a movie in his life and therefore can't possibly be expected to know how to choose one.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“It's alright if you don't like him. You don't have to care about him just because I do. It doesn't mean you're being a bad wife."

"What do I care about being a bad wife? I don't even like you.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“They ease into a third week, and a fourth, and then a weekend comes when there's absolutely nothing scheduled. Cal thinks they must be about to tell him to go home for five damn minutes at least, but then Anya mentions antiquing, which is something Cal has never done. When he says so, she freaks out, and it turns out that what he must do has nothing to do with going home and everything to do with picking through other people's decrepit, smelly, abandoned old furniture.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“If mean people suck, nice people swallow.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“Oh,” Brogan said softly. “So that’s what it feels like.”
― Sidney Bell

“He turns back to the baby, whispering to him lowly enough that all she catches is 'your mother is a devil woman'.

She should probably kick him for that, but decides not to. In truth, she finds it flattering.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“It’s one of the things Anya finds most attractive about Zac, the way he orbits around the people he considers his. He unashamedly needs them, demands that they need him back, and sees no weakness in showing it.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“Now make that other bag of popcorn. I need it. Put it in. In. Now."

"Your popcorn talk is a lot like your sex talk.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“Cal couldn't write that. I always thought the fucked-up shit came from you."

"You're so sweet to me, baby.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End

“It's not that he won't talk, though, is it?"
After all, Cal had tentatively answered when she'd shown a willingness to wait. "It's more that he needs to know that you value his words."

"Yeah."

"I think I've been impatient with him. I'll do better."

"That's not only on you." Zac doesn't sound tense or tired anymore, only thoughtful. "He could probably try harder too. I think you'll be surprised how similar you are at the root once you get to know him better. You both love very fiercely. He does it by being there and giving whatever's needed, and you fight and bully and murder anything in the way, and on the surface it seems like there's nothing that's the same, but the motivation is."

She smiles and kisses his hand. "That's something to build on, at least.”
― Sidney Bell, This Is Not the End