Jenny Morrill > Quotes

“I storm back into the living room and fart, which is not what I’d planned to do. “Have you had my Daniel O’Donnell mug?” “No.” Oh God I did not just see her flaps.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday

“God, if you just let me be drunk for the rest of my life, I promise I’ll never ask for anything again.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday

“I’m starting to wish I could iron my own face off.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday

“I wondered if I could ever be one of those people you see in magazines. You know, the people who have stuff that they do. And they have things like a long jar for spaghetti, and some friends that they can stand to be around. They do things like, I dunno, roller skating.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday

“There’s a pub up the road from our house, and sometimes we’ll go hang out there at closing time in case the regulars start hitting each other. It’s cheaper than getting a real hobby.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday

“The guy behind the counter looks like he’d pay me a fiver to smash his face in and put him out of his misery. That’s a shame, because I was thinking of offering him the same deal.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday

“I’m trying to leave my packing until the last possible minute, in case I happen to get enough cyanide to fill my suitcase.”
― Jenny Morrill, Crap Holiday