Seth Grahame-Smith > Quotes

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Judge us not equally, Abraham. We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Elizabeth: "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?"
Darcy: "They belong to you, Miss Bennett.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“There are but two types of men who desire war: those who haven’t the slightest intention of fighting it themselves, and those who haven’t the slightest idea what it is. … Any man who has seen the face of death knows better than to seek him out a second time.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Without death,' he answered, 'life is meaningless. It is a story that can never be told. A song that can never be sung. For how would one finish it?”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Of all the weapons she had commanded, Elizabeth knew the least of love; and of all the weapons in the world, love was the most dangerous.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“The day Henry made a choice... that some men are just too interesting to die.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Of all the weapons in the world, love is the most dangerous.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“The business of Mr. Bennett's life was to keep his daughters alive. The business of Mrs. Bennett's was to get them married.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Living men are bound by time... Thus, their lives have an urgency. This gives them ambition. Makes them choose those things that are most important, cling more tightly to that which they hold dear. Their lives have seasons, and rites of passage, and consequences. And ultimately, an end. But what of a life with no urgency? What then of ambition? What then of love?”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“put the car in "d" set the compass to "n" and get the "f"out of there”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, How to Survive a Horror Movie

“Elizabeth and
Darcy merely looked at one another in awkward silence, until the latter reached both arms around
her. She was frozen-"What does he mean to do?" she thought. But his intentions were
respectable, for Darcy merely meant to retrieve his Brown Bess, which Elizabeth had affixed to
her back during her walk. She remembered the lead ammunition in her pocket and offered it to
him. "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?" He reached out and closed her hand around them, and offered,
"They belong to you, Miss Bennet." Upon this, their colour changed, and they were forced to look
away from one another, lest they laugh.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your safety.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Real power comes not from hate, but from truth.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Elizabeth lifted her skirt, disregarding modesty, and delivered a swift kick to the creature's head.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Thank you, sir, but I am perfectly content being the bride of death.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“I fear that a life of death has made me numb to both.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“The more precious His gift, the more anxious God for its return.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“I would much prefer their minds to be engaged in the deadly arts than clouded with dreams of marriage and fortune, as your own so clearly is!”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Most men have no purpose but to exist, Abraham; to pass quietly through history as minor characters upon a stage they cannot even see”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do; for I shall not have my best warrior resigned to the service of a man who is fatter than Buddha and duller than the edge of a learning sword.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“On the contrary, there is something pleasing about his mouth when he
speaks. And there is something of dignity in the way his trousers cling to those most English parts
of him.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Some people say "if we split up,we can cover more ground"-with blood”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, How to Survive a Horror Movie

“But I am happy. And happiness, I have decided, is a noble ambition.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“Elizabeth sheathed her sword, knelt behind him, and strangled him to death with his own large bowel.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Elizabeth, having rather expected to affront him, was amazed at his gallantry; and Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her. He really believed, that were it not for the inferiority of her connections, he should be in some danger of falling in love, and were it not for his considerable skill in the deadly arts, that he should be in danger of being bested by hers--for never had he seen a lady more gifted in the ways of vanquishing the undead.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Contrary to his infallibly "honest" image, Abe wasn't above lying so long as it served a noble purpose.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“These fools who haven't the slightest idea how to live the morals they espouse. These fools who proclaim themselves men of God, yet show not the slightest reverance to His word...Is it any different from a drunkard preaching temperance? A whore preaching modesty?”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

“I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in- and I am sure my dinners are good enough for her, since she is an unmarried woman of seven-and-twenty, and as such should expect little more than a crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

“Miss Bennet, I am quite aware of your superior talent for cutting down the Lord's forsaken flock. I merely mean to spare your gown.'
Thank you,' said Elizabeth, composing herself, 'but I should rather my gown be soiled than my honor.”
― Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies