Steve Higgs > Quotes

“He was, to my mind, a little inbred looking. His ears and nose were more pronounced than they ought to have been, he had a schoolgirl complexion with flushed red cheeks and his thin brown hair was already receding badly.  He looked like he would grow up to be a Tory politician.”
― Steve Higgs, Blue Moon Investigations Ten Book Bundle

“Mum knew with absolute unshakeable certainty that she was right about everything.  From astrophysics to fine art, my mother was the ruling opinion in any room.”
― Steve Higgs, Blue Moon Investigations Ten Book Bundle

“Just click that, supply your email address and first name, and get ready to enjoy an extra story for no extra cost.”
― Steve Higgs, The Patricia Fisher Cruise Ship Mysteries Box Set

“the phone for a good reason. He might be at the”
― Steve Higgs, Blue Moon Investigations #11-20

“quarter”
― Steve Higgs, The Lies We Tell Ourselves: DS Tony Heaton's Cold Cases Book 2

“Albert gave Rex a shove so he could exit first and not have his wotsits crushed when Rex trampled over him to get out.”
― Steve Higgs, Kent Coast Oyster Obliteration

“George’s smile was that of a lion who had just made it inside a zebra-only nightclub and was now taking off his stripey pyjamas to the horrified stares of all the other patrons.”
― Steve Higgs, Albert Smith's Culinary Capers: The first 10 Recipes

“Rex didn’t even hear his human shouting. Every fibre of his being had been trained upon the road ahead because he knew there was a squirrel here somewhere. Then it popped out of the undergrowth to snag a nut and instinct took over. He had to get it, he had to stop it taunting him with its skippety little hops. Squirrels had to die. He didn’t know why, but his legs were moving before his brain told them to.”
― Steve Higgs, Albert Smith's Culinary Capers: The first 10 Recipes

“She snored so loud I had to wonder if she was part Minotaur.”
― Steve Higgs, The Realm of False Gods: The Complete Series in One: An Urban Fantasy Saga

“Upon rising, they had decided they were hungry, which, to be fair, is a default setting they come preloaded with.”
― Steve Higgs, Blue Moon Investigations #11-20

“An army of demons is going to invade the Earth and take control of the planet, wiping out a good portion of humanity as they do it.”
― Steve Higgs, Familiar Territory: A Wizard in Bremen part 3

“manoeuvring”
― Steve Higgs, Albert Smith's Culinary Capers: The first 10 Recipes

“disgust.”
― Steve Higgs, The Godmother

“twenty-pound note”
― Steve Higgs, Stilton Slaughter

“PC Hotstuff, as the chunk of my brain controlling my penis had now labelled her,”
― Steve Higgs, Paranormal Nonsense

“Tempest, my friend, he is a practicing dickbag and should be ass-banged to death in public by donkeys.” Goodness. Not much grey area there. Big Ben had little tolerance for people he didn't like.”
― Steve Higgs, Paranormal Nonsense

“My life might not be a perfect fairy-tale, but the bits I am possibly not happy about are eclipsed by all the things I need to feel grateful for.”
― Steve Higgs, What Sam Knew

“moment later. ‘Mr Angel,’ she snivelled convincingly.”
― Steve Higgs, Albert Smith's Culinary Capers: The first 10 Recipes

“Mate,’ he replied, turning to lock eyes with me, ‘drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister: it might taste kind of the same, but it is just plain wrong.’ Big Ben had a knack for analogy that often impressed and horrified at the same time.”
― Steve Higgs, The Phantom of Barker Mill

“Out of control though, she hit first with her right hip, and, still spinning, crashed over onto her back here her left shoulder bit painfully into the rough path to tear her skin.”
― Steve Higgs, Paranormal Nonsense

“Though I have explained the name, I am still faced with the unfortunate task of telling you what I do for a living. I have my own business and that, of course, always sounds good, but when you are on the second date and the lady wants to hear more about you, there is simply no good way of telling her that you are a paranormal investigator. The reactions have been entertaining, I suppose. Some freeze and ask me to repeat myself, some laugh and ask me what I really do. One called me a total loser and walked straight out of the restaurant. However, not one lady has ever been impressed with my current job. Doubtless, you are on their side, but let me explain how it came about and let me first reassure you that I in no way believe that the paranormal exists.”
― Steve Higgs, Blue Moon Investigations Ten Book Bundle

“their stories are written to make you laugh and keep you turning pages when you really ought to be going to sleep.”
― Steve Higgs, The Patricia Fisher Cruise Ship Mysteries Box Set

“him about the proposed change in name. He thought it sounded like nonsense then and hadn’t changed his mind yet. ‘To answer your question though, I think it will depend on how many other crimes they are able to sew up with this discovery. All the different piles of goods in there might each represent a separate reported theft. They could clear a list of crimes and, if they are finding fingerprints or other physical evidence, they might be able to catch multiple criminals. They’ll be trying to find Karl Tarkovsky, but I doubt he’s in the country. I reckon he took the van full of Stilton and fled, getting across the channel before anyone even had a chance to report the van stolen, let alone the cheese.’ ‘I’m sure you’re right,’ Dave agreed. ‘It’s a shame for the festival. And for the dairy, but they’ll recover sure enough. The insurance will pay for it and it’s not like suppliers can go elsewhere to get it. Stilton isn’t Stilton if it’s made by anyone else,’ the security guard said knowingly. He lapsed into silence and neither man spoke for a moment. It became an awkward silence after about ten seconds, at which point Dave said, ‘Well, must be off. Goodnight.’ ‘Goodnight,’ Albert called after the man as he vanished into the dark again. It was good of him to check on Oxford, especially given the day he’d had. Albert watched the police working in the lockup for a few seconds as he continued to chew over the misalignment of clues in his head. The counterfeit note didn’t fit. In fact, the only way he could make it fit, was to assume it appeared in Karl’s room out of pure coincidence, and he didn’t like that at all. Unable to shift the feeling that he was blind to the truth, he turned around and started back towards the pub. Perhaps a gin and tonic to help him sleep was in order. The imagined taste hastened his steps, but he might have walked faster yet had he known what waited for him in the bar.”
― Steve Higgs, Stilton Slaughter

“Will my car be safe outside?’ I asked. ‘God, no.’ Jolly good. So glad I checked.”
― Steve Higgs, Amanda Harper Paranormal Detective

“drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister: it might taste kind of the same, but it is just plain wrong.”
― Steve Higgs, The Phantom of Barker Mill

“Unkindly, Albert remarked in his head that with the addition of a beard and fishing rod, he could model as a garden ornament.”
― Steve Higgs, Albert Smith's Culinary Capers: The first 10 Recipes

“remember”
― Steve Higgs, The Patricia Fisher Cruise Ship Mysteries Box Set

“He was successful in all things, a gift he gave himself through the simple strategy of ruthlessly taking that which he wanted.”
― Steve Higgs, Old Habits

“hole was seven hundred millimetres in”
― Steve Higgs, The Realm of False Gods: The Complete Series in One: An Urban Fantasy Saga

“hat”
― Steve Higgs, Patricia Fisher's Mystery Adventures Boxed Set