Gary Ezzo > Quotes

“Prepare Your Child for the Road, Not the Road for Your Child”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Preschool Wise: Optimizing Educational Outcomes What Preschoolers Need to Learn

“While a husband or wife might be able to cope with the missing part, children do not fare as well. Babies are not able to rely on reason or intellect to measure the stability of the world around them, so by design, they depend heavily on their senses. There are certain aspects of the marriage relationship that children need to witness routinely. Children need to see an on-going love relationship that includes Mom and Dad enjoying each other as friends and not just parents. They also need to see their parents talking, laughing, working together and resolving conflicts with a mutual respect for each other. We cannot over emphasize this point: the more parents demonstrate love for each other, the more they saturate their child’s senses with confidence of a loving, safe and secure world. That marriage relationship provides children with a layer of love and security that cannot be achieved through the direct parent-child relationship—even during the baby years. When you put all of these factors together, they add up to a healthy home environment.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“13.   Baby’s waketimes are over-stimulating or too long. Explanation/Recommendation: When searching for the solution to naptime challenges, parents often overlook the quality of the waketime that preceded the nap. Remember, everything is connected. Waketimes affect naps just like naps affect waketimes. Over-tired and over-stimulated babies become hyper-alert, fighting off sleep through crying. If this is a regular problem, shortening your baby’s waketime by 15-minute increments might help. Also, be aware of the types of activities you and your baby are involved in. Are you having too many visitors drop by who have an irresistible urge to entertain your baby? Was your baby being exposed to Dad’s loud friends as they sat watching a sporting event? Might Mom be on the go too much? When Baby is along for the ride, the coming and going, the new sights and sounds, and the absence of predictability all work against good nap behavior. That is because catnaps in a car seat are no substitute for a full nap in the crib. An occasional nap in the car seat will not cause trouble, but it should not be the norm, especially during the first six months of your baby’s life.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“Common observation confirms that a mobile, exploring toddler learns faster and more efficiently than the child whose feet never leave the couch and whose eyes never leave the T.V. screen.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Toddler Wise: Parenting the First Childhood Eighteen to Thirty-Six Months

“Obedience is required conformity. Responsibility is voluntary conformity. Obedience is submission to a person. Responsibility is submission to a principle.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Preteen Wise: Parenting Your Child from 8-12 Years

“From the earliest age, children sense your attitude. If you approach their care as a burden or drudgery, your children will respond in a burdensome way, and you will experience drudgery. Instead, see each day as an adventure and know that each stage of your children’s development is precious.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“As a parent, you can’t completely avoid making mistakes. Accept it.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Preteen Wise: Parenting Your Child from 8-12 Years

“healthy, full-term babies are born with the capacity to achieve 7-8 hours of continuous nighttime sleep between seven and ten weeks of age and 10 to 12 hours of sleep by twelve weeks of age.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“hour in a twenty-four hour period. If you find your child is”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Pre-Toddler wise: From Babyhood to Toddlerhood (Parenting Your Twelve to Eighteen Month Old)

“have a growth spurt and require additional feedings. This may last from one to three days.   For a breastfed baby, feeding could be as often as every two hours (possibly extending through the night) for one to three days.   For a formula-fed infant, parents will notice that their baby appears hungry after consuming the normally-prepared number of ounces; or he is showing signs of hunger sooner than the next scheduled feeding. There are a couple of options to consider:   Add 1-2 ounces to his bottle at each feeding, allowing baby to take as much as he wants. If baby was taking 2½ oz. per feeding, make a full 4 oz. bottle and allow him to eat until full; or   Offer the extra feeding as Baby shows signs of hunger. When the growth spurt is over Baby will return to his normal feed-wake-sleep routine. However, on the day following a growth spurt most babies take longer than normal naps.   By week three, alertness should be increasing at feeding times. Between weeks three and four, your baby’s waketime will begin to emerge as a separate activity apart from eating. His schedule should look something like this: feeding, burping and diaper change takes about 30+ minutes. A little bit of waketime adds another 20+ minutes. Naptime is 1½ to 2 hours.   Not all feed-wake-sleep cycles during the day will be exactly the same length of time. That is why a range of times is provided and not fixed times.   If breastfeeding, do not allow your baby to go longer than 3 hours between feedings during the first three weeks. The feed-sleep cycle should not exceed 3 to 3½ hours during the first three weeks. At night, do not allow your newborn to go more than 4 hours between feedings. (Normal feeding times usually fall between 2½ to 3 hours.)”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“Adolescence is a time of self-discovery. But discovery doesn't have to mean defiance.

Teens do need to find out who they want to be, but they should be free to select qualities and values held by their parents as well as those not held by them. In our opinion, reaching adulthood does not require relational tension. Defiance of authority is not a growing pain but a behavioral choice. Rebelling against parents doesn't make you an adult any more than rebelling against a government makes you president.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Teenwise: Building a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

“While facts can provide a plan, only understanding can provide the purpose. What is understanding, and why is it important?”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support

“While the difference here might appear minor, over the life of your child, negative and positive words have a cumulative effect, because such words shape a child’s outlook about self, others, and about life. Learn to speak life to your pretoddler by instructing in what you want him to do instead of what you do not want him to do.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Book II Parenting Your Pretoddler Five to Fifteen Months

“We have counseled many couples that started their journey in parenting with high hopes and the best intentions to love and nurture their newborns, only to see their dreams reduced to a nightmare of survival.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“After completing medical school and serving my residency in obstetrics and gynecology, I felt knowledgeable enough to be a parent. Between”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“With adults, beliefs precede actions, but with pretoddlers and toddlers, the opposite is true: actions precede beliefs. That is why parents should insist on right responses long before their children are capable of understanding why they are being required. Young children first learn how to act appropriately, and then they learn how to think appropriately. Just because a six-month-old baby is not capable of making moral decisions does not mean basic infrastructures for future moral behavior are not being established. They are!”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Book II Parenting Your Pretoddler Five to Fifteen Months

“When Mom consistently works with her baby to take a full feeding, it eventually leads to productive waketimes. A good waketime impacts nap time and a good napper is a better feeder. As the quality of each activity deepens, it facilitates healthy nighttime sleep.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep - Interactive Support

“This can be accomplished by observing”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“Society depends on parents to instill in their children a healthy sense of self-restriction, and that is not as hard as some people make it out to be.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Book II Parenting Your Pretoddler Five to Fifteen Months

“Babies should not receive their first full bath until the umbilical cord has fallen off (10-14 days after birth on average). Never immerse your baby in water while the cord is still attached. A sponge bath is all a newborn really needs. Never try to remove the umbilical cord by cutting or twisting it off. It will fall off by itself any time after the second week of age. Keep the cord-area clean by using a cotton swab and some rubbing alcohol or by using alcohol wipes. This should be done after each diaper change. After the cord falls off, and your baby is ready for a bath in the kitchen sink (easier on your back) or bathtub, be sure the water is warm to the touch but never hot. Go easy on the soap since it is drying to the skin, leaving it itching and flaky. Never leave a baby in water unattended, even after he is capable of sitting up by himself. The potential danger is too great a risk, even for a minute.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“child’s life has greater and more lasting significance than”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“15.   Baby is not being exposed to adequate amounts of daylight. Explanation/Recommendation: Natural light is important to help babies regulate their circadian clock. This is the inner clock, the biological time-keeping system that regulates daily activities, such as sleep and wake cycles. We recommend that, as soon as your baby awakens in the morning, you take him to a room filled with daylight (although he does not need to be in direct sunlight). Natural light, along with the first feeding of the day, will help establish his circadian rhythm and keep them consistent. Routine helps facilitate this amazing function possessed by all humans.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

“At birth, a child has no functioning conscience, nor does a baby or pretoddler have the reasoning capacity to grasp right and wrong, good and evil. That does not mean parents should delay introducing required and acceptable behavior. For example, the fact that a child has no moral understanding of why food should not be intentionally dropped from his highchair does not mean parents should hold back instruction or fail to discourage the behavior.”
― Gary Ezzo, On Becoming Baby Wise: Book II Parenting Your Pretoddler Five to Fifteen Months