Jay Aury > Quotes

“She’d know that many a villain was born because some soulless corporation devoured the little guy, who just so happened to have been working on a serum, or glider, or something else that could be handily repurposed to turn them into a villain capable of threatening a large metropolitan area. Then again, the fact that it kept happening implied corpos had some poor pattern recognition.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“a golden amulet with the gear and skull crest of Burdenga on it.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald

“Look. I keep getting pestered by this weirdo online. Friggin’ stalking me.” I frowned at it. “Love letters.” “Right? And he uses leet speak. I mean, seriously? Who does that shit? Did Time Warp get out of jail and snap us back to two thousand and two.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“Giving large chunks of cheese to your new tyrant is tradition?” Maxim asked blankly. “Of course! A proud one. A noble one!”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“The Magnemen swarmed the stage, forming a cordon around it, brandishing laser rifles (which had about as much stopping power as a flashlight. Kinda lame, yeah, but did a great job selling the ‘techno bad guys’ vibe. Not to mention very kid show friendly if we ever got an offer from a cartoon network).”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“Despite the Yaga’s clear age (Really? Injection pistons?”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald

“Though, you should know that many would choose such enslavement. A freedom from decisions and the terrors of the consequences.” “I hesitate to call anyone like that a person,” Maxim retorted. “Worm would be too good for them.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“More Deadly than the Man”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“We hit the ground floor and must have looked like quite the troop to the middle aged guy with the dachshund standing in the foyer.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“We have a policy of one man, one vote. The master is the man, and he has the vote. It works quite well.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“Yes, well, I have a lot of things going on right now,” Maxim replied testily. “I have this ceremony, Bitsy’s brother trying to kill me, this whole marriage thing, meeting various people in Burdenga, and no doubt other matters which will arise and, probably, also try and disembowel me.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“Oh, yes. I mean, ahem. Oh, yes,” the woman said, belatedly pitching her voice like an old woman’s as she held up a basket. “You see, er, dearie, I am a simple apple seller going about, offering my wares.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“A beautiful immaculate woman? An absurdly expensive fancy car? Oh yeah. This was what being the bad guy was aaaaall about.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“His lordship Duke Aritane Aris!” a pompous herald in a powdered wig declared loudly. “Master of the Danure River! Keeper of the Keys! Heir of Wessen! Five time winner of the Most Menacing Eyebrows in Europa! And headmaster of the Knights of Ague!”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“I should have known better than to let Dolly play around with AI. They always went crazy. Always!”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“Keep fiddling with the outfit. Remember, we want sexy. Grim! Eeeevil! Maybe try on those big horns there.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“I’ll show you Nanny Weatherogg’s winter wardrobe.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“Triana crooned, cutting in, her fangs flashing. “Then we simply must bring them all to this wonderful party. And we of the seamstress guild will, naturally, bring our comeliest wenches!”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“It just has to seem like I tried. And hell,” I chuckled, shrugging. “Nobody’s better at failure than me.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“But I had this big death ray that could bounce off mirror satellites and turn people into exploding chickens…” “Absolutely not,” I said firmly.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“The Grand Chromium Company is not an entity of the town. It is a parasite and a thief. Would you invite a murderer to your Christmas dinner, my lord? Would you trust them with the knife to carve the roast minimammoth?”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“And nothing got the press to pay attention like knowing a villain was going to show up and make things really interesting. Especially a hot villainess. It was the modern equivalent of having a winner of Miss America in a bathing suit draping herself over the car at the auto show. The only difference was if you tried to touch the merchandise, the girl could probably vaporize you on the spot. Not a deal breaker for a lot of guys.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“But that didn’t make him some local madman and despot! Although… he had noticed he’d been cackling madly a bit more than he used to. And purely out of necessity had built a few weapons of mass destruction. Only for self-defence of course.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“shoving a cloak of raven feathers into the arms of the startled witch.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“There was also something faintly off putting about her. Well, more than faintly. For one she never made any noise when she moved. For another, her shadow tended to disobey natural laws. But her loyalty was without question. “Moira,” he said. “There you are.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“I fear he tried to sample a delicacy made from the flesh of a creature beyond the realms of our reality, but failed to realize it was a form of shellfish. He puffed up quite immensely before the end.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“The librarian isn’t… she’s not pressed between the pages like a flower, is she?” he asked. “No, master,” Moira said. “Good.” “We keep those kinds of books three stacks over in the nonfiction section, among memoirs.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2

“Though he had heard about a powerful spark who’d made a suit of devastating armour in a cave with nothing but scrap…”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald

“But it was going to be a bit more complicated than sticking some straws up my nose, wearing a rubber chicken as a hat, and saying ‘wibble’ a lot.”
― Jay Aury, Failure is the Only Option

“Beware the cheesemongers.” “The cheesemongers?” She nodded seriously. “Yes. They are the most powerful guild in the city, for they control the banks.”
― Jay Aury, Grimmwald 2